Ashley was diagnosed with Alzheimer's in May of 2024

Ashley has had a bad fall and broke his hip and femur on Saturday.
Surgery was delayed until today. A 3 hour operation and he is in recovery so doped up he knows nothing.
This was his 4th hip replacement and there is no knowing how he will handle this mentally.
For the past year he has been very down and in a lot of pain with other issues.
His wife, though stoic, is starting to have health issues and has been his carer since his diagnosis in May of 2024.

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whowasthatmaskedman · 70-79, MVIP

The Alzheimers will make it impossible for her to manage him, even if she tries it will end badly..😷

Gusman · 61-69, M

@whowasthatmaskedman Yes, Ashley was diagnosed two years ago and I have watched Gail become more stressed and saddened in that time. She is his carer and is never away from him. The only respite she has had in that time is when I take him out for a couple of hours a week for a short drive and coffee.
I cannot take him out for too long because he becomes distressed and needs to get back home.
This latest injury could have a really bad outcome, and I am sort of expecting a phone call telling me the Ashley is no more.
Maybe not within a month or so, but the hospital mentioned Ashley might need to spend a prolonged stay in a rehabilitation facility.

whowasthatmaskedman · 70-79, MVIP

@Gusman Yes. It was a broken hip on top of dementia that got my mother. Her dementia meant she wouldnt stop trying to move and the resulting pain had to be treated with Morphine.. And it was downhill from there. I managed my own wife for a number of years with dementia. But in the end it was a hospital stay for a hernia repair that triggered a decline. She was supposed go to respite care to recover, but became uncontrollable there and never returned home. Thank goodness its a great place..😷

Gusman · 61-69, M

I visited Ashley in hospital yesterday. He looks terrible, lost a lot of weight, very gaunt in the face.
His memory recall has deteriorated significantly from when we last had coffee together 3 weeks ago.
When I walked into his room, he did not know who I was, Gail had to tell him.
Instead of me listing all the things he was unable to remember I will just say he is in a bad way from what he was less than a month ago.
He has some serious metalwork holding his hip in place and stabilising his femur.
He is due to go home tomorrow. Though watching how unstable he is walking, (with a frame) I predict he will have another fall and be back in hospital inside a week.
Gail has visited every day he has been there and is extremely tired. Her workload will only increase when he arrives home. Yes, she has applied for home help but that has not been approved as yet.
I doubt that I will be taking Ashley out for coffee for a very long time.
I will continue to visit him for as long as he is with us and will tell Gail to plan a few hours for herself outside the home whilst I am visiting.

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whowasthatmaskedman · 70-79, MVIP

@Gusman I can guess whats happening here. While concerned for him of course, your main concern is her and how she will cope. She wont, as much as she desperately wants to. I have lived through this. Her only concern is for him and wanting not to be separated and to care for him..And she will run herself ragged and maybe break herself doing it. All it takes is him to fall on her.. And he is in pain and unstable and on medication for pain and has no idea whats wrong. Sorry to be trite about it. But this has "Titanic" written all over it..

Gusman · 61-69, M

@whowasthatmaskedman I think the reason Gail is pushing for Ashley to be released is because in hospital, he does not have someone watching him every moment, so he becomes distressed and tries to get out of bed.
Gail's thinking is that she will be by his side 24 hours a day, and she will too. But at what cost?
A decision might need to be made to have Ashley permanently admitted to a care home.

whowasthatmaskedman · 70-79, MVIP

@Gusman If I were helping them, thats where I would be doing my research right now. And be sure to specify Dementia care. It can cut some corners in funding..😷

Gusman · 61-69, M

Ashley is still in hospital. He is in the dementia ward. Hopefully he will have some rehab so he can go home.
Has been in hospital for 17 days now.

whowasthatmaskedman · 70-79, MVIP

@Gusman Sadly, sometimes another medical incident can trigger a decline..😷

Gusman · 61-69, M

@whowasthatmaskedman Gail did not sound hopeful when I spoke to her this morning. Sad situation.

whowasthatmaskedman · 70-79, MVIP

@Gusman Having been through it myself, my only advice is to be supportive and offer help where you can..Facing a harsh reality can be confronting..😷

Gusman · 61-69, M

Ashley has made it home after 24 days in Hospital.
He looks better than when I last saw him on Friday.
He uses a walking frame to get around, and Gail is by his side 24 hours a day.
With luck he will not have another fall in the near future.

Gusman · 61-69, M

Ashley had a fall last night, so he never made it home today.
He will be reassessed on Monday. Such a sad situation.

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