My dad's suffering is so great

@Pherick Many sympathies for your brave dad🌸 Thank you for your kind words.

@FreeSpirit1 Thank you my friend 🌸 Did your mom have cancer too?

@Baybreeze yes, lung cancer my dad had brain cancer, both died in the same year, its rough, stay strong

@FreeSpirit1 I'm sorry to hear🌹 Thank you I needed that.

@JoyfulSilence no they don't give IV fluids in hospice but I think they should. Hospitals do but not when entering hospice. This is just awful. I looked up online why IV isn't given, it said the body shutting down can't process food or water normally, and that water could go in the lung? I didn't understand that part, I just briefed the article.

But it seems inhumane to me. They keep saying COMFORT and they give morphine but bring even a bit hydrated slightly could help I think. We've been giving sips of water during the day, but now he can't swallow as well. And his wheezing is bad, it's just sad to watch him suffer. 😟 I find it hard accepting this horrible cancer , that out of five types Lymphoma he got the most aggressive one. At first they did say chemo could help, but then they said he's too compromised and it would kill him. I got a second opinion but it was within same hospital, I dobt know if they just all stay on same page?
But the second doctor said he's done this thirty years and most compromised people do die of the chemo.
I just hope my anxiety isn't off the chart when he passes. I get heart palpitations if very nervous. I never thought about losing my dad, it's all so sudden☹

@Baybreeze

Losing him will be hard, but as time passes it will get better.

I assume the funeral will be stressful. I do not like going to them, although it is nice to hear stories. A coworker died and I heard stories about him from his family. Things I never knew, as well as things I understood. It is not just a time to say goodbye, but a time to remember. I hope it is wholesome.

If anybody ever asked me to speak at a funeral I would panic. I hope they do not wish it on you. But it is also a chance to say goodbye again, and remember. Instead, feel free to write a eulogy and share it on here. Maybe that might help. Or maybe there is a website somebody will set up. Yet I confess I have never commented on those. I have no clue what to say and am terrified about what some reader might think, that maybe it was too shallow, or strange, or whatever. I fear making somebody cry. So I am silent.

I presume all the arrangements and such will be stressful, but hopefully your mom and others will handle most of it.

And then you return to your life. Breathe out. Cry deep. Stare into the sunset and the stars. Walk the lonely forests and beaches. Listen to the waves lap your brain. Smell the pine.

At least there will be no more hospital and hospice visits, no more worries, frustrations, watching him suffer. Life will get quiet again. Don't hesitate to reach out to us, or your therapist, etc.

But what do I know? I have never lost a really close family member. Only grandparents, who I rarely saw over the latter decades, so was no longer that close too them. When a parent or brother dies, that will be different.

Wishing you peace.

@JoyfulSilence Thank you for your words...as much as I don't want him to go, watching someone suffer like this endlessly is truly horrible. No one deserves this. Thank you again Joyful 🌟

@Elisbch I didn't call because it was so late and maybe they didn't lower his head anyway. I figured I'm going in on the morning as well. I think I'll tell them to leave a note . Plus a nurse would have had to elevate him for meds in the night so hopefully they'd hear the wheezing and not put him fully back, with the bed remote. Ty Eli