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I really wanna try a dating site again, but I'm scared

I wanna be open and honest with potentional partners, but being a closeted transman makes it risky.

I could avoid posting pics of me to avoid being recognised, but then I'd worry about them losing interrest or being put off of my looks.

I know I'm not a handsome man, or even look like a man (yet)
The few who actually liked the way I look are the people who got to know me as a person in spite of my appearance.

I think (and hope) I'm a good person, and keep trying to get better every chance I get, but I rarely get a chance to show people that because my looks are sub par.

Also, realistically, you can't really spend a whole lot of time getting to know everyone on a dating site on a personal level without feeling overwhelmed. So I guess looks and keywords are the most important ways to grab attention.


Idk. I'm kinda ranting now. Sorry.

But dating as a closeted transman seems impossible atm.
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Jessmari · 46-50, T
This situation scared me a long time ago. I preemptively outed myself to everyone that mattered in order to avoid it. I will never ever allow anyone to have leveredge over me including my own fears.

I know not everyone can do that and that's fair. I hope you figure things out.
SatanBurger · 36-40, F
It's okay to rant and I understand, I think it's so unsafe these days that it's hard to trust people. I do hope you find a way to safely express to people so that you feel safe.

A good rule is meeting people in public places first and taking your time. No shame in that
WillaKissing · 56-60, M
Hey, I feel your agony! I have tried the same as you with me being a MTF cross dresser seeking a woman to build a relationship with. I tried Match and Eharmony with male pics and that I seek a lifestyle-oriented woman. I had tons of reply's as I have been told I am a handsome man, but I want a woman to say that about me as Willa as well but that I make a pretty woman. But the women never liked that and question my sanity.

So, then I make a Willa profile with Willa pics and a fully stated profile of MTF cross dresser seeks female on Match and Eharmony because they claimed to be open minded. Even though I paid the membership price I was always removed from the sites within two weeks without a refund or an explanation.

To me if I cannot say who I am and what I am about and looking for in my life, then I won't use the site.

Good luck, and I know your agony.
BlackTogeCow · 41-45, M
Just be honest about your identity
TheRealBarbossa · 36-40, T
@BlackTogeCow and risk getting forced out of the trans closet?
WillaKissing · 56-60, M
@BlackTogeCow Umm every time I was honest in making my profiles on Match and Eharmony with my pics within two weeks my profile was cancelled by the sites without an explanation. So, it is not as easy as just being honest, I have to lie just to make a damn profile!
Penny · 46-50, F
TheRealBarbossa · 36-40, T
@Penny nope

 
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