Asking
Only logged in members can reply and interact with the post.
Join SimilarWorlds for FREE »

Don’t you think my cousin is making a big mistake on marrying a man like 13 years older then her?

I personally don’t agree with their age gap and dating but I’m happy for her no matter. My cousin is 31 and her fiancé is 44. He already has two kids from his previous marriage (16 and 12). I mean they’re an amazing couple. I told my cousins it was kind of weird of something that is 40 something years old and it’s bad enough. They looked shocked of what I said. My brother said, “Oh come on. It’s not THAT bad. They’re both adults so they’re in love and that’s all that matters.”
But I said, “I don’t know. It’s still weird. She should date someone her own age.” My sister said, “It’s not weird (my name). Don’t be so judgmental. It’s okay to have an opinion, but they don’t care about your opinion and you need to just be happy for them.”
I was angry that they didn’t agree with me. 44 is too old for a 31 year old woman!
cd4259 · 61-69, M
Age is just a number when it comes to adults loving each other, I am 63 and my wife just turned 40. We are in love and very happy so to hell with anyone who has a problem with it.
I traveled all over the World and the formula I've heard most often is HALF + SEVEN (being the minimum age the older person in any relationship should consider dating). So if you apply that formula here.....

Half of 44 is 22
22 + 7 = 29
Therefore 29 would be the minimum age for that guy....

She is 31, so I don't see any issue here.

Having said that... IMO it really has more to do with the maturity levels of the individuals than anything else...
LaylaTheTallGirl · 22-25, F
@Threepio What are you trying to say that I am stupid and have no comment sense?!
@LaylaTheTallGirl Not at all. I'm simply saying that your "view" of your cousin's love-like does not require you to pass judgement upon her. IE: your opinion is irrelevant when it comes to her choice of who she loves.
LaylaTheTallGirl · 22-25, F
@Threepio Ooh okay. I wasn’t trying to be judg mental or anything. I was just stating my opinion. I can’t believe my siblings support that and said it isn’t that bad and they’re in love. So I’m the bad guy? Wow. I thought they would be in the same page but whatever
Convivial · 26-30, F
When cupid fires his arrows you often don't have a choice who you fall in love with... Be happy for them..
Lackwittyname · 51-55, M
No, 44 is not too old for 31, either way, man or woman. You have whatever preconceived ideas that you are pushing off onto you cousin, you were being judgmental, and good for them that they do not care about your opinion. Why is it weird? People can fall in love for many different reasons.

You say they are an amazing couple, so just leave it at that and stop with you judgements.
Poppies · 61-69, F
When I was 24 I married a man who was 13 years older than me, and we have been together more than 40 years now, with three wonderful children.

For someone her age, 13 years is less of a difference, relatively, than it was for us.

Don't worry about them!
LaylaTheTallGirl · 22-25, F
@Poppies my older brother was like “Oh it’s not that bad. Come on. They’re adults and they in love that’s all it matters. Don’t be so quick to judge.”
Who’s judging?
SilkandLace2 · 46-50, M
I hear you, it's kinda weird, but not out of the realm, i am of the opinion that once you're over 30, nothing is really that terrible, your 20's can bring a lot of mistakes, but if you haven't figured most things out by the time you turn 30, etc etc
LaylaTheTallGirl · 22-25, F
@SilkandLace2 That’s what I was trying to say
Repete · 61-69, M
If they both are adults( they are) it’s really nobody’s business except them . They choose who they will love and marry not anyone else. That’s my opinion take it or leave it.
SilkandLace2 · 46-50, M
@Repete that too
LaylaTheTallGirl · 22-25, F
@Repete But it’s wrong!
tallpowerhouseblonde · 36-40, F
It's actually pretty normal for a woman to marry a man that is older than herself.Becoming a Stepmom will be the hardest part.
LaylaTheTallGirl · 22-25, F
@tallpowerhouseblonde that’s what I was talking about. He’s gonna be a stepmother. Can’t believe my siblings are okay with this
tallpowerhouseblonde · 36-40, F
@LaylaTheTallGirl Your siblings don't get a say in it They like it or Just too bad.
LaylaTheTallGirl · 22-25, F
@tallpowerhouseblonde thank you! They’re no better. I am so tired of them thinking they’re so much better than me just because I’m autistic! Like back off!! Sorry I wasn’t saying back off to you.
BarbossasHusband · 36-40, M
Age is just a number. All that matters is that they're genuinely fond of eachother and happy.
My grandparents had a 16 year gap, my sister is in a relationship with a man 18 years her senior.
It's easy for people to judge a relationship they themselves aren't a part of, but only the people in the relationship knows the whole truth.
SW-User
At your age you might think it’s a bit strange but your cousin is more mature than you so you should trust her judgment.

And getting angry with your sister for not agreeing with you just shows how immature you are. Did she get angry with you? I bet she didn’t.
LaylaTheTallGirl · 22-25, F
@SW-User Excuse me? I’m not immature okay?! No my sister didn’t get mad at my opinion but That’s not what this post is about
Mktonght · 61-69, M
I am 9 years older then Cathy. We have been marry 22 years both of us our second marriage. It is as wonderful today as the day we got married. We both feel that God brought us together.
LaylaTheTallGirl · 22-25, F
@Mktonght okay..
SW-User
Unless she’s never had a boyfriend before I’d say she is old enough to make up her own mind. Not like 21/34.
LaylaTheTallGirl · 22-25, F
@SW-User True but I don’t understand why people want to marry older. I knew someone that was 19 when she met her boyfriend who was then 30. Way too young! She’s 22 and he’s 33.
SW-User
@LaylaTheTallGirl That’s a much more significant difference. At 19 I had no idea about what I wanted to do in life and 30 seemed ancient. But by 30 most of us have had time to sort stuff out a bit more… well, sort of.
kutee · T
they are adult let them do wht they want
LaylaTheTallGirl · 22-25, F
@kutee So you guys don’t think it’s weird

 
Post Comment