A Speech Regarding National Pride. (recited in a beer commercial, circa late 1990's)

Hi... I'm not a lumberjack or a fur trader.

And I don't live in an igloo, eat blubber, or own a dog sled.

And I don't know Carla, Bob or Suzie from Canada, but I'm certain they're very nice. :)

I have a Prime Minister, not a President!

And I speak English and French, not American!

And I pronounce it "about," Not "A-BOOT!"

I can proudly sew my country's flag on my backpack!

I believe in peacekeeping, not policing!

Diversity, not assimilation!

And that the beaver is a truly proud and noble animal!

A touque is a hat and a Chesterfield is a couch!

And it IS pronounced "Zed!" Not "Zee," "ZED!"

Canada is the second largest land mass and the first nation of hockey and the BEST PART OF NORTH AMERICA!!!

My on-line handle is @Sidewinder!!

and I... AM... CANADIAN!!! 🇨🇦

SteelHands · 61-69, M

You forgot the most important parts.

About half your country refuses to adapt or assimilate to the English language or the "ROYAL monarch as top boss religion."

The vast majority of your country is uninhabitable due to climate and a short growing season. Actually worse than Alaska since at least there its nearer to Japan.

Bragging about a big dique is only valid if the thing works ya know. I'm not insulting just saying the facts.

And lastly without the USA for Canada to offer haven to our anti union corporate execs., our tax and draft dodgers, and someplace to generate historical lies about south and north America's well known existence for 5000 years, they wouldn't have got a chunk of our electric co.s , our small engine makers, or about 40% of our Auto industry jobs.

(After they depleted the copper mines up there at the end of the bronze age and left the workers to die, the southern migration and genetic co-mingling, etc. )

Yup. Wealthy people always say kind things about people after they use them up. Canada has such polite people. 😁

JollyRoger · 70-79, M

@SteelHands @Sidewinder I see the site administrators are flagging ol' Steelie here.
No worries: I think the big dique he's talking about is the part he knows is sticking out of his shirt-collar.
Hey, Steelie....

And lastly without the USA for Canada to offer haven to our anti union corporate execs., our tax and draft dodgers, and someplace to generate historical lies about south and north America's well known existence for 5000 years, they wouldn't have got a chunk of our electric co.s , our small engine makers, or about 40% of our Auto industry jobs.

Now think about this: How many Canadians that you know have gone south across our border to flee from wars and corruption? And where in your 'history' did you find those 'lies' about life here 5000 years ago? Please tell me what State you live in so i can check out if the (now defunct) Department of Education spent any money educating you.

WanderlustCat · 36-40, M

I forgot about this. It needs to make a comeback.

I may start pledging it to the maple tree in my back yard every morning. The neighbors all ready think im a lil bit nutsy.