A Speech Regarding National Pride. (recited in a beer commercial, circa late 1990's)

Hi... I'm not a lumberjack or a fur trader.

And I don't live in an igloo, eat blubber, or own a dog sled.

And I don't know Carla, Bob or Suzie from Canada, but I'm certain they're very nice. :)

I have a Prime Minister, not a President!

And I speak English and French, not American!

And I pronounce it "about," Not "A-BOOT!"

I can proudly sew my country's flag on my backpack!

I believe in peacekeeping, not policing!

Diversity, not assimilation!

And that the beaver is a truly proud and noble animal!

A touque is a hat and a Chesterfield is a couch!

And it IS pronounced "Zed!" Not "Zee," "ZED!"

Canada is the second largest land mass and the first nation of hockey and the BEST PART OF NORTH AMERICA!!!

My on-line handle is @Sidewinder!!

and I... AM... CANADIAN!!! 🇨🇦