If there was a loving god in control of the universe I would have died 20 years ago full of heroin and listening to Flying Lesson by Yo La Tengo

There is a God who practices Tough Love. I know that much

Seems like big G likes the suffering..
else wise he would have intervened by now

a gOD wouldve done that if you wouldve asked. but 'G'od who is in control of the universe has destined things for you, which only change with dua or on Laylatul Qadr.