From Fourteen Years of Witchcraft to Opening My Heart to Jesus

My road to where I am now has been long and winding, filled with adventures, spirals, and turns. There have been happy moments, but truthfully, there was also a lot of pain and suffering in my soul. When I talk about my past in witchcraft, I tend to be boastful and prideful, so I've found it better not to speak of it.

In my journey of getting to know Jesus and God, I began reading the Bible. I finished the New Testament and am now working on the Old Testament. I'll admit, I read the Bible with some skepticism or grimace at parts I find crude or brutal. It's easy to cherry-pick the beautiful passages, but sitting with the hard stuff—the parts that make you want to argue or debate—shapes you. I can't say my heart is fully open to God the Father; He seems far away and distant, perhaps a little bit terrifying. Despite this, I believe He listens to me and answers my prayers, even though I probably do not deserve the grace.

Jesus' teachings were delivered to me by a colleague in Christ. I started reading the New Testament out of love and respect for this colleague. I enjoyed reading the Bible, even when I had to pass through repeated stories. To me, Jesus was kind of a badass, and I really respected Him. He was like punk rock minus the sins. Some things He said I loved, while others upset me, and I wanted to argue with Him. But there was a slow love growing. It was like meeting a strong-headed, righteous man with a sharp tongue, but you couldn't help but really like Him for all those reasons.

I know it sounds silly, but I started watching The Chosen after it was suggested by a good friend. That's when I really saw Him. Many years ago, I had a dream where I met Jesus. It was confusing and frustrating, leaving me with a life-changing experience and a cryptic message. It was the first time I experienced unconditional love and complete peace—nothing else in this lifetime can compare to it. The actor who played Jesus in the show invoked the same Jesus who came to me in the dream: a knowing person with the kindest eyes and a gentle, loving smile. Patient and forgiving, it felt like being shot through the heart. At that point, I fell in love with Him. I saw Him and knew that day He visited me, He saw me. He never left me.

I can't say I'm still not uneasy with this path. It requires an identity change for me. It is my love that keeps pushing me to my studies and finding myself as a Christian