Who would take me up on this offer?

You might be surprised what stories they’re willing to tell kids. I remember the story of Moses and the pharaoh. They told us he deserved the plagues because he was bad and I was a little kid thinking “So what about all the first born sons? We’re they all bad?”

Lot and his daughters after Sodom? (spoiler - date rape)

Is it going to be a remix with your witty working mind?

In that case, I am the kid. Start posting coz I doze off while listening.

Well I’m not a Christian but can you read my kids some of the trippin’ balls stuff from Revelations? That’s the good shit

What about Jehu killing the royal children?

Can we have the one about those people 'begating' each other?

Or, if you don't trust @Pikachu to pick a good story, I'll pick one. It involves a pair of big, fluffy bears.