Trump Releases ‘God Bless The USA’ Quran

DEARBORN, MI—In an effort to raise money to cover his mounting legal bills, former President Donald Trump announced at a campaign event Friday that he was selling the central religious text of Islam in a special new edition called the “God Bless The USA” Quran. “It’s a very holy book—really the holiest of all the Qurans you can buy—and it’s time for America to bring back the word of God as revealed to the Prophet Muhammad,” said Trump, who promoted his version of the scripture sacred to Muslims by standing in the minaret of a mosque and stating through a loudspeaker that the $60 book was the only Quran inspired by country singer-songwriter Lee Greenwood’s signature hit. “No other Quran is officially endorsed by Trump, so get yours while you can. Order now, and you’ll also receive a complimentary Trump 2024 prayer rug, inshallah.” The former president added that he would also soon begin offering “God Bless The USA” Torahs, Vedas, Confucian Analects, and Tao Te Chings.

https://www.theonion.com/trump-releases-god-bless-the-usa-quran-1851374740