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I Love Being A Gay Sissy

My Life Is A Sham!... I'm 50 years old and a totally gay, cock-loving, submissive, pink sissy pantyboy in private. I work for a military contractor and am surrounded by military or ex-military men. I can't "come out" at work as I'd more than likely lose a 6 figure job that I love doing as none of the "Macho Married Men" would accept working with or for a sissy faggot. None of my family knows and most of them would seriously not approve of my being gay. I've lived most of my life in the closet and often wonder if people aren't talking about it behind my back, I've never heard any inkling of this, nor has anyone even intimated that I might be gay but I have to wonder, none of them has ever seen me with a "girlfriend" or a "boyfriend" for that matter, are they blind, do they think i'm asexual? I'm very "straight acting" and looking, if you were to see me in the "normal daily world" you would never think i'm wearing pretty pink panties under my guy clothes and wishing i could have my lips, toe and fingernails all painted in pretty sissy pink for anyone to see :) I've lived alone most of my adult life and have never been in a "committed relationship", this is a very lonely life but I guess it's the life I've chosen to live. I wish that I could flauntingly explode out of my closet and be accepted by co-workers, friends and family alike but pretty much know that will never happen. So where do I go from here? do I spend the rest of my life hiding who I truly am from everyone just to keep the comfortable status quo going? Isn't it about time I start to question where I've been and where I'm going? Do I give up everything I know and love so I can be who I was meant to be? Oh so many questions and very few answers!

I'm not complaining but just need to vent a little.
spjennifer
61-69, T
24 replies 1021 views Jul 9, 2012
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LittleMelissa
I'm in a similar situation. The difference being that I am married and get full support from my wife. I would never consider telling or showing my family, friends and associates my true colors. The one great advantage of being married and having full support from your wife is that If someone sees a baby doll or other items, laying about, it all belongs to my wife.In spite of all this freedom, I still remain in the closet. As in your situation, your freedom is almost all gone. Except for dressing up in the house or taking the occasional walk late at night, it will probably be the extent of your freedom. There is a few places however, where you can visit and have total freedom and acceptance. There's a town at the tip of Cape Cod, where they accept all those who are different. It may not solve everything, but it could 'fill your belly' for a while.Unless you are perfectly comfortable with your situation, it's best to keep it to yourself.Even if one key person finds out, it could be the end to the life that you are so accustomed to. It's best to keep the cat in the bag.
+ 2 · Reply · Translate · Jan 20, 2013
spjennifer · 61-69, T
Thanks for your reply Melissa, it's nice that you have an accepting and supporting wife, you are lucky. Are you talking about Provincetown? Never been there but have heard about it. I agree, so am keeping it in the bag for now, i just wish i didn't have to.
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · Nov 30, 2013
JoanSoloman
Not a sham. Difficult and problematic, but not a sham.

What's it been now, 40 years since the Stonewall riot? A lot has changed, but society in general just doesn't deal well with people they don't consider "normal".

A lot can be done with laws and lawsuits, but frankly I couldn't begin to guess how to make the transformations needed to get people to accept us. It's a comfortable acceptance we need, not someone bludgeoned into silence.
+ 0 · Reply · Translate · Jul 22, 2012
spjennifer · 61-69, T
Thanks for the response Joan, agreed a LOT has changed since the "Stonewall riots" and up here in Canada things are progressing at a somewhat faster pace than in other countries as we have legal same sex marriage and other anti-discrimination laws and such progress is good. i even see an overall easier acceptance in the younger generations. i guess changing attitudes takes time...
+ 0 · Reply · Translate · Jul 24, 2012
Candicegirl
Sweetie, you are in a position that that I unfortunately can't say I've experienced! I did wait a very long time to come out to my wife but thankfully she accepted me! I hope you find somebody to share your life with, but until then, VENT! This is a good site to do it!
+ 0 · Reply · Translate · Sep 16, 2012
josycd
We all have to live 2 lives it what society demands unless you want to be unemployed and hated by others. It's a shame that we have to live a lie because of a large number of bigots. Society is slowly changing but very slowly and my guess it take generations.
+ 0 · Reply · Translate · Jul 10, 2012
spjennifer · 61-69, T
i agree Josy, things certainly aren't changing fast enough, i would so love to be able to be who i truly am inside, but as you say i don't want to be unemployed or hated, just accepted without the bigotry.
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · Jul 14, 2012
josycd
It's sad girl,but it the way society dealt the cards,so we have to learn to avoid their rules and be as happy as we cne be
+ 0 · Reply · Translate · Jul 14, 2012
sammi11
Be true to your fabulous self sweetie
Hugs
Sammi
+ 0 · Reply · Translate · Nov 18, 2012
spjennifer · 61-69, T
I will continue to try to do that, thanks Sammi :)
+ 0 · Reply · Translate · Nov 24, 2012
bifun2002
I can feel that. Alway gotta keep it a secret
+ 0 · Reply · Translate · Oct 13, 2012
jack675849
I feel so bad for you. To be who you are hurts no one. If you were straight, you could live how you wanted and work where you wanted. Currently, life is unfair. I hope for happiness for you.
+ 0 · Reply · Translate · Dec 27, 2012
spjennifer · 61-69, T
Thank You Jack, you are right, who i am doesn't hurt anyone except me. such nice and kind words, you are a gentleman.
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · Dec 30, 2012
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spjennifer · 61-69, T
@ilovetoes43 Sadly, the older members of my family still remaining are fairly religious and would never accept me coming out and they are still important to me. I think the younger generation is more accepting and doesn't really care but for now, I'll carry on doing the best i can mostly hidden in my pretty pink closet 🤭 Glad to hear you were able to come out and are happy with who you are!
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · May 17, 2020 · Edited: 5 yrs ago
SilkandLace2 · 46-50, M
@spjennifer I'll bet your Pretty Pink Closet is a very nice place though! I hear you though, it does suck having to hide ALL the time🤗
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · Jul 20, 2020
sissypolly
i have thought about this same question many times so this is ow i have justified it to myself which works for me. i have worked for the same company for 12 years and known many of the other employees for all of this time. i don't lye to them about me being a sissy although i don't tell them either so what do i do of an evening maybe i watch tv have a friend over or go out to meet friends the thing is that is what i would tell people if asked whether I'm dressed as a male or a sissy for these activities i never discus what i am wearing or go into to much detail as to what i was doing. so just because its thought I'm dressed as a man and have been with a woman when in fact i have been dressed as polly the sissy slut and been with another sissy or guy thats not actually my problem and why should i give away personal details like that anyway as know body else does. this may not work for you but i see no reason why you have to justify yourself to anybody your private life is just that private. although I'm always happy to hear what other naughty sissy sluts are up to
+ 0 · Reply · Translate · Sep 3, 2012
spjennifer · 61-69, T
Thank you for your thoughts sissypolly, i agree we shouldn't have to hide our true selves and on occasion when i can get away with it, i sort of reveal a little of my true sissy self but no one ever picks up on it as they think i'm just joking... I have a reputation for having a pretty sick/twisted sense of humour so when I tell them to watch out that i'm wearing my pretty pink sissy panties today, none of them take me seriously, little do they know that i'm telling the truth, they just tell me "i'm one twisted fucker" which is also somewhat true :)
+ 2 · Reply · Translate · Sep 6, 2012
xcheeta
Why is living in the closet so bad? It's your family that is the problem and face it, people don't change. i have seen how my relatives treat my gay cousin. The ladys are supportive but none of the men can really stomach it. Enjoy both lives. Have fun being a sissy. Unless you are really passable, being a fulltime sissy is not much fun. Use the internet and start finding someone that you can hang with and have fun.

You sound like a wonderful person and that will always win people over.
+ 0 · Reply · Translate · Nov 12, 2012
spjennifer · 61-69, T
Thank you dear, i agree, people don't change and my relatives are not nice about us "gays". i do try and use the web to find others to have fun with but it isn't easy here where i live as sissies like me are either well closeted or non-existent and Real Men who like sissies around here are kind of like dinosaurs, either extinct or a myth!
+ 0 · Reply · Translate · Nov 17, 2012
Candicegirl
I don't think they are, I think that they are just as scared as we are!
+ 0 · Reply · Translate · Nov 17, 2012
spjennifer · 61-69, T
Lol, yes Candice you are probably right, i do so wish it didn't have to be that way, perhaps and hopefully for future generations it will become different!
+ 0 · Reply · Translate · Nov 18, 2012
LUVELACE · T
I lived two lives whilst serving in the military for over 40 years,being part of the special forces army rangers,i lived with the secret and listened to the matcho bullshit re the lbgtq,but now im retired I can live as I wish too and enjoy the company of younger effeminate gurls
+ 0 · Reply · Translate · Aug 18, 2019
spjennifer · 61-69, T
@LUVELACE Thank you, I too served in the Military in my youth, albeit in the Air Force which is a little more open but still not accepting, even today where being openly gay is legal. Glad to hear you are enjoying your well-deserved retirement with some cute younger gurls.
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · Aug 18, 2019
 
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