I Love Being A Gay Sissy

My Life Is A Sham!... I'm 50 years old and a totally gay, cock-loving, submissive, pink sissy pantyboy in private. I work for a military contractor and am surrounded by military or ex-military men. I can't "come out" at work as I'd more than likely lose a 6 figure job that I love doing as none of the "Macho Married Men" would accept working with or for a sissy faggot. None of my family knows and most of them would seriously not approve of my being gay. I've lived most of my life in the closet and often wonder if people aren't talking about it behind my back, I've never heard any inkling of this, nor has anyone even intimated that I might be gay but I have to wonder, none of them has ever seen me with a "girlfriend" or a "boyfriend" for that matter, are they blind, do they think i'm asexual? I'm very "straight acting" and looking, if you were to see me in the "normal daily world" you would never think i'm wearing pretty pink panties under my guy clothes and wishing i could have my lips, toe and fingernails all painted in pretty sissy pink for anyone to see :) I've lived alone most of my adult life and have never been in a "committed relationship", this is a very lonely life but I guess it's the life I've chosen to live. I wish that I could flauntingly explode out of my closet and be accepted by co-workers, friends and family alike but pretty much know that will never happen. So where do I go from here? do I spend the rest of my life hiding who I truly am from everyone just to keep the comfortable status quo going? Isn't it about time I start to question where I've been and where I'm going? Do I give up everything I know and love so I can be who I was meant to be? Oh so many questions and very few answers!

I'm not complaining but just need to vent a little.

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LittleMelissa

I'm in a similar situation. The difference being that I am married and get full support from my wife. I would never consider telling or showing my family, friends and associates my true colors. The one great advantage of being married and having full support from your wife is that If someone sees a baby doll or other items, laying about, it all belongs to my wife.In spite of all this freedom, I still remain in the closet. As in your situation, your freedom is almost all gone. Except for dressing up in the house or taking the occasional walk late at night, it will probably be the extent of your freedom. There is a few places however, where you can visit and have total freedom and acceptance. There's a town at the tip of Cape Cod, where they accept all those who are different. It may not solve everything, but it could 'fill your belly' for a while.Unless you are perfectly comfortable with your situation, it's best to keep it to yourself.Even if one key person finds out, it could be the end to the life that you are so accustomed to. It's best to keep the cat in the bag.

spjennifer · 61-69, T

Thanks for your reply Melissa, it's nice that you have an accepting and supporting wife, you are lucky. Are you talking about Provincetown? Never been there but have heard about it. I agree, so am keeping it in the bag for now, i just wish i didn't have to.