I Am An Atheist
I was born into a Muslim family and believed in Islam until I made the conscious decision to leave at around age 14 or 15. I'm almost 16 now.
But if anyone asked, I would say I left at 13. Because that's when I developed a new perspective on certain issues and new morals, and they were generally incompatible with the morals and perspectives Islam teaches. I wouldn't have realised that until I was around 14 or 15.
I can't give you an exact number because I went back and forth on whether to identify as an atheist or what. So my beliefs at particular points in my life can just be big old blurs. It's hard to ditch ideas you've grown up with all your life. It's a confusing period of time, when a part of your identity becomes insecure. Especially since I was thinking about my gender identity at the same time. But that's another story.
There's this article I remember reading about that reminds me a lot of how I dealt with religion. If I remember correctly, the writer was on a trip to North Korea. The authorities there had set it up so that the people on the trip would have developed a skewed perspective on what the country was like. For example, the hotel there would have had marble floors and chandeliers, but there would have been a problem with running water because the authorities can only cover up so much.
Similarly, on the inside, being a part of Islam felt like there were so many good things about it. I can't even think of an example of one of the things I considered nice about Islam, but there was a lot of it. There were a lot of chandeliers and a lot of marble floors. I believed in it and I defended it.
But when I take a step back, I now notice the running water issues.
I notice all the problems deep rooted within Islam, and it's actually not hard to realise when I reflect on what I truly believed I was when I was religious.
Just an example; I thought I was a feminist. I thought things like the hijab were for a woman's own good. In hindsight, it's obvious that I was nowhere near a feminist when I think about the judgments I would have made about certain women. I was far from it. I was the complete polar opposite. I won't talk too much about it because I would have to go into a lot of detail and I'd like to keep this on the surface for now.
Religion does that to you, though. You don't consider that maybe the marble floors are fake.
But if anyone asked, I would say I left at 13. Because that's when I developed a new perspective on certain issues and new morals, and they were generally incompatible with the morals and perspectives Islam teaches. I wouldn't have realised that until I was around 14 or 15.
I can't give you an exact number because I went back and forth on whether to identify as an atheist or what. So my beliefs at particular points in my life can just be big old blurs. It's hard to ditch ideas you've grown up with all your life. It's a confusing period of time, when a part of your identity becomes insecure. Especially since I was thinking about my gender identity at the same time. But that's another story.
There's this article I remember reading about that reminds me a lot of how I dealt with religion. If I remember correctly, the writer was on a trip to North Korea. The authorities there had set it up so that the people on the trip would have developed a skewed perspective on what the country was like. For example, the hotel there would have had marble floors and chandeliers, but there would have been a problem with running water because the authorities can only cover up so much.
Similarly, on the inside, being a part of Islam felt like there were so many good things about it. I can't even think of an example of one of the things I considered nice about Islam, but there was a lot of it. There were a lot of chandeliers and a lot of marble floors. I believed in it and I defended it.
But when I take a step back, I now notice the running water issues.
I notice all the problems deep rooted within Islam, and it's actually not hard to realise when I reflect on what I truly believed I was when I was religious.
Just an example; I thought I was a feminist. I thought things like the hijab were for a woman's own good. In hindsight, it's obvious that I was nowhere near a feminist when I think about the judgments I would have made about certain women. I was far from it. I was the complete polar opposite. I won't talk too much about it because I would have to go into a lot of detail and I'd like to keep this on the surface for now.
Religion does that to you, though. You don't consider that maybe the marble floors are fake.
