Day Twelve 🖤 Sick Day

I slept in. The sun never came out this morning so it was a long luscious sleep in.

We had a sick day and I grabbed us our favorite healthy dinner bowls for the extra nutrients.

I took a shorter walk, it was warm and humid but after today the temperatures will start dropping. I love summer, I'll miss it.

Doing my stretches and red light therapy. House is clean, laundry done, ready for another week.

I'm baking again which means I must be feeling better.

I didn't know how much he hurt me. I was affected in so many ways. I'm realizing I am afraid to get close to people. It's a good realization, but painful. I figured it out because every day I get better, I am less nervous and more myself. The smoke and dust settles and I find more damage. I hate to go through all the thoughts I had to lower myself and tolerate him for scraps. Other men are showing interest in me now and I'm terrified. Not only is it painful, it's embarrassing. It's so important I don't get hurt. I was a brave person, grabbing asses and asking for numbers. Rejection just meant a new friend or acquaintance. Rejection is fierce these days lol but he wore me out. It was abuse. Mental wreckage. Instinct murder.

I will sort it out.

I wish I could feel angry or evil towards him but I know there's good men, I won't misguide myself. I'll water my own garden so when it's right he will be the sun to help me bloom.

Or I'll wither and rot.

Either way, it's nature.

Alien has the farts but I love him next to me.

I didn't take any pictures today that you guys want to see lol except a recipe for paleo pop tarts I want to try this week!

Good night and fox kisses 🖤