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Write an Online Dating Profile for Your Pet

I wanna know what you’d say 😂
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If my dog Benson was still alive the profile for him would read "Hi. I'm Benson. Male. Single. I love long walks. I love the outdoors but just as content to be inside curled up on the couch. I am affectionate but not pushy. I know my place. I love to eat. I smile quickly and often. When you speak I am unbelievably attentive. When you're sad or tired I won't abandon you."
@onrealityofdreams Do you have a pic💙
@Promises Not in my phone or computer. I may have one in my box of photos. I'll look for it and upload.
Humans always say I am big.. me BIG? I don't see it, I am myself, the same size I have always been. Yes, I do tower over some other dogs, but that just helps to keep them in line. I hate having to do the Alpha thing, but I will.. I do.. I confess. Can't help it, but mostly other dogs understand and just accept it and we can play.
I have to admit I do like to sniff and lick their back ends, and sometimes I jump on them and... well, do the natural things we boys do. Some don't like it.. some learn to like it.. and yet, I remain a virgin. I don't care if they are boys or girls, but I prefer blonds (I am all black), and they must be a certain height for me to grab them, and they have to have that smell I like. Not really sure how to describe it.
When I see a squirrel, or a cat, or that other male dog with noots, my owner had better be holding on tight cause I am going for it.
Afraid conflict is never allowed, but I do try, can't help it. I would say that is one of my vices.
I am nice and fun, hairy, cuddly. I love licking faces, especially kids faces.
I want the ball your owner has in his/her pocket, and not afraid to jump up to get it. Sometimes they get mad at me, get over it..
I love meat.. chicken, beef, pork, turkey, salmon, prawns.. I mostly get crunchies with water, I guess it helps keep my figure.
3 walks a day minimum.. if you want to take me out all day I am good with that. I love long trips as long as we stop often so I can mark things..
Hit me up and let me check your smell to see if we are compatible <wink wink>
Jenny1234 · 56-60, F
@JamesBugman a virgin who doesn’t discriminate! Lol
AllycatAD · 26-30
Hi, my name is Layla, I'm a Maine coon kitten, I love snuggling, prancing around feet of my owner wondering if I'll trip him/her.
I love to be on laps, I love cuddling with small kids as long as they don't yank on my tail

Favorite past times are, sitting on the window sill watching people walk by, once in awhile turning to moon them
Hobbies include,
leaving hairballs
leaving left over mouse parts on the doormat
jump up on a desk and sit in front of the monitor when I feel I want attention

I'm laid back
easy going
purr loud and been told I sound like a diesel engine

If interested leave out cat nip and give me a jingle
Jenny1234 · 56-60, F
@AllycatAD gifts of hairballs and mouse parts. Such a thoughtful date!
Jenny1234 · 56-60, F
Meet the one and only Negem, a strong and handsome Egyptian man who's taken the feline dating scene by storm! This charming one-eyed gentleman is on a mission to find his Cleopatra. Sure, he may be single-sighted, but don't worry, he’s already got the "winking game" mastered!
@Jenny1234 hi negem...meet me, yes you are handsome. wanna share a treat?
Jenny1234 · 56-60, F
@beermeplease yes please pretty lady
@Jenny1234 lol cute!

Hello my name is Lolo. I'm a firey red head that enjoys long showers, peanuts and my head scratched. I enjoy wolf whistling at everyone that walks by and I'll give you my come hitherto look only to chomp your finger. I'm a Momma's boy and you better love my Momma too! And did I mention peanuts?
@Promises my cat loves him too 🤣
@beermeplease Our dogs are afraid of our bird. The cat could care less lol
Jenny1234 · 56-60, F
@Promises he’s a hotty with that red hair!
nedkelly · 61-69, M
I have studied my owner, I will now confirm being very happy and single
Jenny1234 · 56-60, F
@nedkelly he’ll never get a date like that! Lol
KingofBones1 · 46-50, M
I didn't want to think about that I'm going home to an empty house
@KingofBones1 Can you have a pet where you're at? They make life better for me.
KingofBones1 · 46-50, M
@Promises yes I can I have a fence that I will be fixing and I had a German Shepherd that I loved very dearly but after I was in jail the police when they obtained a warrant for my premises decided to shoot him
KingofBones1 · 46-50, M
@Promises I love animals actually
YoMomma ·
Mine are already married 😅
OldBrit · 61-69, M
After last night. Next door's cat should read.

Cheap tart will do it noisily at 1:30 in the bushes under the bedroom window.
Jenny1234 · 56-60, F
@OldBrit maybe for free too lol
Lilymoon · F
Lovable redhead mid-sixties but still spry 😸
Lilymoon · F
@Promises aww what a sweetie!!
Jenny1234 · 56-60, F
@Lilymoon mid sixties lmao Lily
Lilymoon · F
@Jenny1234 she's 13 maybe 14 that's 60's in cat years lol
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@Jenny1234 thought you'd like that 🤭
Jenny1234 · 56-60, F
@beermeplease almost peed my pants
@Jenny1234 too bad negem is neutured...he'd make a good dad 🤭
BillyMack · 46-50, M
Angry little turd who is always hungry and feels like he’ll die if he doesn’t eat.
Jenny1234 · 56-60, F
@BillyMack must be a dog!

 
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