This website is a drug
Figuratively speaking. I find myself coming back here over and over at all hours of the day not to post anything or respond to anyone, but simply to get a little dopamine fix. To answer some meaningless question or read other people's half-baked replies. The sad part is that I see so many others doing the same, knowing they're wasting their lives doing the same, but coming back regardless. It's an addiction that doesn't get the proper attention it warrants.
I get that it feels good to belong somewhere, to feel seen and heard, to get hit after hit of novelty with each new post in the endless stream. And it feels pretty damn good to get stuff off your chest when something is bothering you.
But over the years it's hard not to notice the same people complaining about the same things and dealing with the same struggles. You realize that many are simply using this place as a crutch. Personally, there have been numerous times where I end up putting off my obligations and things I should be doing, things I want to do, in order to engage with people I'll never meet or whose names I'll never know. Often enough I end up cutting into my sleep when I'm already running on fumes.
While I'm still pretty damn dependable and able to be an exceptionally functional member of this planet, that's more of a testament to my wits and my grit than to any sense of purpose or discipline. My relationship with this site is like ones relationship with the fridge when they don't know what they want to eat, logging on over and over again until their standards are lowered enough to respond to something.
I feel like it may be time to call it curtains for this profile. Granted, I am able to regulate this addiction well enough when I become recognizant of it, when I've realized that once again I've slipped into some bad habits. But there's still too much time lost on the descent before I can climb myself out of it. Time that would undoubtedly be better served on my responsibilities, my hobbies, my goals, and my relationships.
I'm not saying it'll be goodbye forever. I've been here for most of my adult life and it is a welcome release for burgeoning burdens and percolating pensiveness. But I know that it is time for me to rethink my connection and level of engagement to this place, and I figure I'd post this for anyone else who may find themselves in the same boat.
I get that it feels good to belong somewhere, to feel seen and heard, to get hit after hit of novelty with each new post in the endless stream. And it feels pretty damn good to get stuff off your chest when something is bothering you.
But over the years it's hard not to notice the same people complaining about the same things and dealing with the same struggles. You realize that many are simply using this place as a crutch. Personally, there have been numerous times where I end up putting off my obligations and things I should be doing, things I want to do, in order to engage with people I'll never meet or whose names I'll never know. Often enough I end up cutting into my sleep when I'm already running on fumes.
While I'm still pretty damn dependable and able to be an exceptionally functional member of this planet, that's more of a testament to my wits and my grit than to any sense of purpose or discipline. My relationship with this site is like ones relationship with the fridge when they don't know what they want to eat, logging on over and over again until their standards are lowered enough to respond to something.
I feel like it may be time to call it curtains for this profile. Granted, I am able to regulate this addiction well enough when I become recognizant of it, when I've realized that once again I've slipped into some bad habits. But there's still too much time lost on the descent before I can climb myself out of it. Time that would undoubtedly be better served on my responsibilities, my hobbies, my goals, and my relationships.
I'm not saying it'll be goodbye forever. I've been here for most of my adult life and it is a welcome release for burgeoning burdens and percolating pensiveness. But I know that it is time for me to rethink my connection and level of engagement to this place, and I figure I'd post this for anyone else who may find themselves in the same boat.
31-35, M
