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I Hate Feeling Like I Dont Matter

There is less than $200 in my account, and I am the person in the household appointed to buy groceries. But I also have a disabled dog to take care of, who has an eye appointment tomorrow for his cataracts and glaucoma issues. My boyfriend gets paid a lot more than I do, but he mostly worries about the mortgage and the other bills of the house. I work in fast food, where he works as an engineer. The thing that bothers me is that he doesn't really care if the dog has an appointment tomorrow because we need groceries. Here's how I know this: I have about $126. in my account. The groceries I've made a cart for online are $136. But he wants to only transfer about $30-$50 to help...when my dog's appointment is going to be over $50. And he won't help with that. So that's how I got my answer. If I buy the groceries I won't have the money for the dog, who may need surgery soon. But we need groceries...so once I'm finished with the appointment he will be forced to help with the grocery expense because I know he can afford at least half. Am I wrong for doing this?

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Threepio

[quote]Am I wrong for doing this?[/quote]

I kind of see it this way.....

If the girl had the dog before hooking up with the dude, then the dog comes with the girl as a package deal. The same applies to kids. It is always a package deal or it isn't a deal....

OTOH, Cereal and milk is relatively inexpensive. Perhaps a lesson in reality is due for the dude. (Just tell him that Frosted Mini-Wheats are very high in fiber and you concerned about his regularity and are looking out for his health).

PoisonLace · 41-45, F

@Threepio We actually got the dog while together after one of the cats died prematurely from liver failure. He was against it in the beginning, but warmed up to him later. He's my dog, and even though he didn't come with me, there's still a responsibility that my boyfriend knows I have to keep up with. And I get what you're saying about a package deal, but it should matter to him if it's important to me. If someone doesn't care how their significant other feels about something, like a life, then they shouldn't be with them. I don't care what other people say, animals are like children. You have to do the same stuff for them as you would for a child or they die.

Threepio

@PoisonLace [quote]We actually got the dog while together [/quote]

That makes it a shared responsibility.

SW-User

Ridiculous. Take care of the dog. He is not a good boyfriend if he isn't willing to help.

Shayla · F

Sharing expenses can be complex. It's not a matter of right or wrong. If it's your dog, it's your responsibility. If you both adopted the dog together the vet bills are both of yours. If you two have discussed who will be paying for which bills and the groceries are your job, you might have to figure out cheaper meals to cook for now.

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Shayla · F

@SW-User Sorry, that should have been directed at the O.P.

PoisonLace · 41-45, F

@Shayla I would NEVER give up Gizmo! He is more loyal to me than most people can be, and he does have pet insurance, but I need to reinstate it. I can't stand when people just give up their pets. People can be so cruel. If I was that type of person and gave up Gizmo because he was too expensive then not only would I be sending him to his death because no one would want his eye expenses, but I would never be a good parent either (if I ever had kids). You don't just give up on a life because they're too expensive! That's the difference between me and most people: I would do everything I could to save a child AND a pet if they were in a burning building. Most people would just save the child because the pet isn't human.

PoisonLace · 41-45, F

@SW-User I hadn't had pet insurance until last year. I had to get Gizmo covered even though it costs me an arm and a leg.

updown2020 · 61-69, M

Well maybe shop at a cheaper store and maybe its time for a better paying job. Might I mention or should I ask who goes all the cooking and cleaning of the place ?

PoisonLace · 41-45, F

@updown2020 I do the shopping and the majority of the cleaning.

PoisonLace · 41-45, F

@updown2020 And the cooking.

updown2020 · 61-69, M

Well if you do all that should should be enough you are not the maid yes you have to do your part but so does he you both work. So what did happen?

acpguy · C

One solution; feed the boyfriend the dog but do not tell him until he is done eating. Then let him know that this is what he can expect in the future unless he starts paying for groceries. Also let him know that the neighbors cat is getting a bit slow and maybe tomorrows meal.

PoisonLace · 41-45, F

@acpguy :o

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