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I Hate Feeling Like I Dont Matter

There is less than $200 in my account, and I am the person in the household appointed to buy groceries. But I also have a disabled dog to take care of, who has an eye appointment tomorrow for his cataracts and glaucoma issues. My boyfriend gets paid a lot more than I do, but he mostly worries about the mortgage and the other bills of the house. I work in fast food, where he works as an engineer. The thing that bothers me is that he doesn't really care if the dog has an appointment tomorrow because we need groceries. Here's how I know this: I have about $126. in my account. The groceries I've made a cart for online are $136. But he wants to only transfer about $30-$50 to help...when my dog's appointment is going to be over $50. And he won't help with that. So that's how I got my answer. If I buy the groceries I won't have the money for the dog, who may need surgery soon. But we need groceries...so once I'm finished with the appointment he will be forced to help with the grocery expense because I know he can afford at least half. Am I wrong for doing this?

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Shayla · F

Sharing expenses can be complex. It's not a matter of right or wrong. If it's your dog, it's your responsibility. If you both adopted the dog together the vet bills are both of yours. If you two have discussed who will be paying for which bills and the groceries are your job, you might have to figure out cheaper meals to cook for now.

PoisonLace · 41-45, F

@Shayla Yes, I get it...however, he knows how much Gizmo means to me, and still won't take that into consideration. The dog is completely mine, and yes I agreed to groceries, only because I couldn't afford everything else. He gave me the grocery expense because I make like 10X less than he does.

Shayla · F

@PoisonLace So you either are not able to handle your own responsibilities or you just assume others will pick up your slack.
I get it. I love my pets (when I have them) too. But he did not choose the dog and everything that comes with it. He is not the bad guy here. Anything you can't afford should either be put aside for a better time or put on credit that hopefully you can pay off next month.

SW-User

@Shayla They live together... If my boyfriend did that to me, I would be gone that day.

Shayla · F

@SW-User Living together is not the same as being married. He pays the other, more expensive, bills. If they were married I would agree with you.
I believe in negotiation and personal responsibility. They have negotiated on how to split the bills. She has a responsibility to the dog. One does not negate the other.

SW-User

@Shayla That isn't really the point. Yes, divide bills and pay what you agreed. But this is a beloved pet who needs care. What kind of boyfriend simply ignores that?

Shayla · F

@SW-User What kind of person keeps a pet whose care they can't afford and yet doesn't seem to have pet insurance? If it's a part of the family or like a kid, it should have medical insurance to offset these expenses. If it's not important enough to have medical insurance for, the bf shouldn't have that burden.

SW-User

@Shayla Sigh. We don't even have access to pet insurance where I live... I would go homeless before I would let my animals suffer. Emergencies happen.

Shayla · F

@SW-User I was assuming that your profile was correct in stating you are in the U.S. Perhaps contact your countries version of SPCA and ask about options?

SW-User

@Shayla This isn't about me. I am fine paying thousands a year in pet care. Others are not as fortunate.

Shayla · F

@SW-User Sorry, that should have been directed at the O.P.

PoisonLace · 41-45, F

@Shayla I would NEVER give up Gizmo! He is more loyal to me than most people can be, and he does have pet insurance, but I need to reinstate it. I can't stand when people just give up their pets. People can be so cruel. If I was that type of person and gave up Gizmo because he was too expensive then not only would I be sending him to his death because no one would want his eye expenses, but I would never be a good parent either (if I ever had kids). You don't just give up on a life because they're too expensive! That's the difference between me and most people: I would do everything I could to save a child AND a pet if they were in a burning building. Most people would just save the child because the pet isn't human.

PoisonLace · 41-45, F

@SW-User I hadn't had pet insurance until last year. I had to get Gizmo covered even though it costs me an arm and a leg.