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Do you have emotional ears?

Being disrespected vs you feeling disrespected. 🤔

Is it what they said... Or what you are triggered by🤔
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PhpPhoenix · 31-35, M
The difference can be very subtle and difficult to make.
Trippin · F
[@1125975,PhpPhoenix] I agree. Tyrna learn to not allow my feelings... To become my thoughts... 🤷‍♀️
PhpPhoenix · 31-35, M
[@1212957,Trippin] and vice versa? Because that can cause problems too.
Darkskiescoming · 46-50, M
It is more what they said and how they say it that makes my ears get emotional but it takes a lot to get there.
Trippin · F
[@1198743,Darkskiescoming] Interesting how thoughts... Including our assessment of tone becomes a feeling we then...believe in. 🤔
Darkskiescoming · 46-50, M
[@1212957,Trippin] Yes, it is and tone always seems to set how the conversation will go.
summersong · F
I always assume it’s me misinterpreting things unless I have confirmation that I’m right from someone else.
Trippin · F
[@334441,summersong] Humph... I often wonder bout' misinterpretation myself. Did I listen to you... Or did that prior bullshit in my head hear you. Tricky.
There's things like my husband sitting there reading his phone when we're sitting together in the evening and I'm told just a minute.. And if the kids come into chat with us, he totally gets involved with his phone and I'm left to converse with the kids or make food or whatever.

He doesn't think he's being disrespectful, but I feel like it is, his phone comes first often,... Apparently I'm just too sensitive
PhpPhoenix · 31-35, M
[@435994,MightyAphrodite] that is definitely a good reason to feel disrespected. That's not you. Whether you let it hurt you is not the only question though: how much is another.
Trippin · F
[@435994,MightyAphrodite] In terms of that Might, Its certainly one thing our heart understands equal to love... And thats selfishness. So many ways I think maybe we get them confused. In my opinion your thoughts about that particular situation and your feelings about it are just. Big hug.
[@1212957,Trippin] 🤗
Reject · 26-30, M
Disrespect is disregard for someone’s feelings. So technically anything can be disrespectful to someone, but if you want people to take you seriously, you should narrow down the things you consider disrespect.
Trippin · F
[@471800,Reject] Perhaps... Disregard to someones feelings. But it remains our thoughts that make it so. Separation of the two determines the reaction. 🤔
Reject · 26-30, M
[@1212957,Trippin] Exactly, this is why some people consider everything disrespect while others have never felt disrespected in their life. It’s all about how positive or negative you want to be about someone’s treatment of you.
4meAndyou · F
There's a lot in that mix, to be fair.

I have been disrespected by "professionals" in my time. 😉 I can tell when it's intentional. There's a horrible tone of voice that goes along with it, usually, and if I am face to face with the person disrespecting me, there is a nasty twisted "face" they make.

I can hear a voice saying something that could [i]almost[/i] be nice, but if the tone is dripping with sarcasm, it's NOT nice.

But I also have my triggers, and I won't tell you what they are. I don't want folks setting out deliberately to pull them here on SW.
Trippin · F
[@387713,4meAndyou] Heard. And I get it. That oftentimes twisted inevitable connection between what we hear...how we hear it .. and where that simple circumstance can take us.
4meAndyou · F
[@1212957,Trippin] The ex used to take things that [i]I said [/i] and twist them around until I didn't recognize what was happening. In his crazy head he would only hear what he wanted to hear. Next thing I knew, he would be screaming at me, and I would be like, "no..no...that's not what I [i]said!!![/i]
Magenta · F
Indeed. Discerning the difference can be rather hard.

I would wager a larger percentage for most are reactions based from triggers, our own internal dialogue and insecurities.
Trippin · F
[@1173,Magenta] Such a challenge.

I know Ive a heart big enough for what is...right now. But still I perpetuate old pain as if there's no more room. Frustrated.
Magenta · F
[@1212957,Trippin] Aw, right? It's hard to separate what was with what is, emotionally. Then add projection to the mix and we have a swirl of confusion. Especially on-line. Haha! 🤪

I know I get triggered by a [i]very[/i] [i]specific[/i] person. I am learning to not react as much until the initial reaction fades, to be more objective..
LucyFuhr · 51-55, F
I'm a little too full of self love to have emotional ears (most of the time) but boy do I ever get triggered when I reflect on some of the things people have said in the past LOL
Trippin · F
[@8345,LucyFuhr] Right!! Damn past!! Im learning self love. But damnit... Im envious that my laundry simply gets dumped in a machine... While I shower reliving an F'ed up conversation 2 weeks ago. 🤷‍♀️
LucyFuhr · 51-55, F
[@334441,summersong] I made a post right after one of those light bulb moments, just this morning LMAO

I'm amazed at how slick some people are with their words though 😉
LucyFuhr · 51-55, F
[@1212957,Trippin] You got a lot to love so I know you'll get there 🤗

As far as the past goes...I'm not shy about calling someone up even 10yrs after the fact and doing the [i]"Remember that time you said that thing you said? [b]Let's talk about that...[/b]"[/i]
WuZetian · 31-35, F
yessss when I hear words being badly said..my ears get heated and heat goes to my blood and it will boil lol
Trippin · F
[@299394,WuZetian] Me too. Whats Fascinating to me is the connection between words used...our thoughts of their tone...and its feeling in our heart.
WuZetian · 31-35, F
True. I cannot deny. That is why often distant myself to these pipz because I personally knew the monster in me.. [@1212957,Trippin]
Sophiesmiles · 18-21, F
I think so, I will always assume that people are upset with me or don’t like me. I always take things way more personally than they are meant.
Trippin · F
[@1203119,Sophiesmiles] Me too. Same. Part of my gangster bullshit...or make up. A mask I hide behind cuz' really Im not so brave and worry lots 🤷‍♀️
Sophiesmiles · 18-21, F
[@1212957,Trippin] I get that, I have mask I wear to save face …and then fret about things that have been said once I’m on my own
This message was deleted by its author.
Trippin · F
[@332402,swirlie] Good stuff... Had to read it 3 times. And I... Cant debate it. Tryna learn how to simply use my thoughts and feelings in order to move forward. Otherwise they just seem to use me.
This message was deleted by its author.
Trippin · F
[@332402,swirlie] Damn... Thats huge. To simply reply... Would be thank you. Gonna have to think bout' that. Good stuff. ❤
kodiac · 18-21, M
It hits me the hardest when i know deep down the other person is right. I think truth can be turned into imagined disrespect.
Trippin · F
[@665475,kodiac] Me too..❤
Freeranger · M
I feel so lonely......I hear none of it, maybe I got hearing aids.....☺️
BreezeyBree · 56-60, F
Eh...sometimes, it is what isn't said. lol
If I FEEL disrespected, that's usually a good sign I might have been, even if others don't see it the same way. What we all differ on is what it takes to be disrespected. Some like things others don't. If someone doesn't feel disrespected it might be values and all are different than someone who feels disrespected.
Trippin · F
[@1210541,BreezeyBree] Ahhh... To listen well. To what is said...AND what's not. The spaces in between maybe even. Good stuff. Reading your reply... Made me think of.... Being still.
BreezeyBree · 56-60, F
[@1212957,Trippin] Thoughts in motion?
Post Breezey Breezey on Wed 1 Jun 2011 - 20:42

The wheels keep turning in my head,
I think about the things I've read.
Thoughts I keep all to myself,
Yet can't retire to a shelf.
Why can't I concentrate and listen?
What point today am I missin'?
The wind is blowing my thoughts around,
They never land upon the ground.
They twist and turn, to and fro,
With no direction, sure to go.
Why can't my thoughts settle down?
Why do they never touch the ground?
~~~~~~~~~~~Breezey~~~~~~~~~~~
vetguy1991 · 51-55, M
It's what they said and did

 
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