I Am My Own Worst Enemy

I don't know why I keep doing this to myself. Why I can't seem to move on when everyone is telling me that's what I have to do.
How do you move on from a relationship that seemed perfect? When he seems so lost and unsure.
He went out with his friends for the 1st time in over 10 months. Stupidly I asked 2 of our mutual friends how he was. I know I shouldn't have and no, neither one has talked to me. I don't think he's coping too well and it's making it harder for me to try and move on. I'm adamant that he's depressed and pushing me away. If he was okay wouldn't they have said?

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goliathtree · 56-60, M

Moving on is hard. There are no two ways about it...no gray area. It is hard.

There is very little that can be said that can make it easier for you, but talking about it puts it right out there and that is a start.

Bleed · 41-45, F

I feel like all I've done is talk about it. Its not getting easier and I'm sure I'm just pissing people off with it now.

goliathtree · 56-60, M

my kids have gone down a dark road that I have no control over and for a couple years it killed me. I thought...head down...push forward...hope they come around. Finally, after a lot of talking about it, my wife and I decided that we needed to put it behind us...as hard as that sounds. I still have dark days, but we are living our lives. It takes time.

Rickichickie · 56-60, F

What can I say, that it gets better? Yes it does but it takes time. It took me so long when it happened the first time and I must say that even at old age and with the knowledge of earlier experiences, it doesn't hurt less. Yes, you get over it but first you must allow yourself to be desperate, feel very sad, feel forlorn, can't think that live goes on without him. It is like a purification of your soul. If you can talk with your friends about it, all the better. Suffering without support is much harder.

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Rickichickie · 56-60, F

Wish I could give you a hug. I know that this wouldn't change your situation. 😞

Bleed · 41-45, F

Really could do with a hug. I found out Monday by an email that he’s been seeing someone else. It explains everything but I’m so hurt

Rickichickie · 56-60, F

Men! Sheesh! Maybe not all of them are bad but it's not easy to find the pearl amongst the pile of sh...

KayraJordyn · F

If he can't be whole on his own, how can he offer you his whole self, and you better each other?

Bleed · 41-45, F

I'd rather have any part of him. I want to be with him but also help him. Depression isn't easy and even when you have people supporting you it can still feel like you're alone. I want to be there when he comes out the other side.

SW-User

Most of us are in one way or another... our worst enemy.

Bleed · 41-45, F

Thanks. I seemingly have a big talent for beating myself up and not letting go of toxic thoughts.

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