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I Am Letting Go And Moving On

The time has come

- Today I crush this heart of mine. I hesitated for so long to let you go. I had not done so for anyone else.
You saw the foam of the waves at night, and believed that there was no ocean underneath. And I have looked at you, and you hid your ocean from me, even though you knew... that I knew... that it was there.
I have no soul left to give away. If I want to save what's left of me, this heart... this feeling of failure is something I must tear out of me.
I bid you adieu, my lonely flower. The last of my angels.
May you never know what it is like, to feel like I do. May you never know, what it's like to watch the world from the outside.

Smile forever, my final strand of humanity.
Goodbye, my spirit of hope.

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ArnoldJRimmer

letting go is the hardest.

themanoflegends · 31-35, M

This is how I let go. I tear away pieces of myself along the way. I have bet the last piece of my humanity that I had left on an ill-chosen person. And I no longer have anything left, but a tiny flickering spark. And now this spark is fading fast. It is all that I have. All that I am. I'm not giving it to anyone.

ArnoldJRimmer

you dont have to give it. i always felt that tearing but....i never seem to stop giving my heart away again. it takes a while to grow back..sometimes years. but it comes back.
sometimes you find one who helps it heal. i was lucky.

themanoflegends · 31-35, M

This person was my last bet. I had hoped, beyond hope, that this person could save me. I knew, you see, that to this person, I held no significance for some time now. But I chose to lie to myself. Do be delusional, and just pretend that it was going to be okay in the end. And every time I was forced to see the world for what it really was, it blew a hole in my false facade. For whom I had prayed, hoped beyond any chance... this person was not. But for me, this person was all I had left. It was a choice. All or nothing, and I couldn't allow it to be nothing. So I bet all of me. Every last bit of me that was worth saving, I bet on this person. And you are right. A broken heart can be healed back together. But not for me. Never for me. Because in the end, have you forgotten, my good friend? The words I used to live by. They are still etched in my soul. "No second chances".

littlegirl03

You shouldn't.

Gwall1234

Don't let them win

escherdesignedsoul

Man of Legends- perhaps you don't need to be saved. From the words I have seen you share, you are an amazing individual, who needs to see himself for who he is. Glorious and beautiful inside your own skin. Betting on someone else is difficult, because the cost of losing is so high. Bet on you. Realize just how amazing you are, and each day focus on moving just another step forward. Love the person you are, and let the light from that love touch others, eventually that light will be reflected in another. Love, true love, is honest. It sees beyond the lies, and accepts flaws and enriches. There are so many things that seem to mimic true love, and at times, those things consume completely. But if it has consumed you, beyond yourself, is it really true? Can anything be true if it causes you to lie to yourself or demoralize yourself? Forgive my rambling- but these are thoughts I have about an all-consuming emotion, I too have felt. One beyond my better judgement, and in the end, it is this questioning that helped me move forward, despite not quite completely letting go...