I Dream Black Dreams

@Northwest LOL. Sorry. & I think that is true, I do feel as if my chance at being normal is ruined now.. and my dog is like a kid to me, a constant reminder of him because he bought her for me.. and then if we got back together he missed out on her life😢😂 its stupid, I know.. but I just care so much about him.
And I do plan on using my cna as a way to get out of here, however marrying my bestfriend still seems awesome! We'd always have each other no matter what, who doesn't want that?

@StonerGirl69 In the future romantic comedy, starring Taylor Swift and Miley Cyrus, that makes a whole lot of sense, but in real life, I don't know who wants that. For starters, there are a whole bunch of legal issues, When you're married, your finances (IRS), names, and everything else is tossed into a blender, and good luck separating our the pieces when it's over.

Don't hold out any hope that your ex BF will be back. Chances are he won't.

You can live together if you still want her to be part of your life.

@Northwest well if I can't have him I'd rather just stay with my bestfriend, my trust with everyone else is complete shit.. and a divorce really isn't that hard if you have an agreement. Someone will really have to show me its worth giving another chance for me to change my mind, sorry. Thanks for the help!

@Danez yeah... I think he chose her instead.

@StonerGirl69 so maybe you should try to forget him

@Danez yeah.. maybe.

@SW-User it's so hard not to think about, about what he does when I'm not there.. I'm just so scared he's going to hookup with someone new and we were each others first, I just don't want him to find someone better. & I know it's going to be easy because our whole relationship I never tried😢

@StonerGirl69 sweetheart I can really relate to everything your saying. The first cut is the deepest is so true. It's a song by Rod Stewart that always hits me hard when I hear it. I have never gotten over my first love but she moved on and I never did. I said the same thing she was my first and other people said so what. It didn't mean the same thing to them. It didn't mean the same thing to her either. Your so young sweetie and I don't mean that in a negative or insulting way. Some of us are really emotional and can be easily hurt deeply. You will eventually get over it albeit never completely. Wish I could help more and make you feel better but I just don't know what else to say. Please try to do something to take your mind off of it. It will eat you up and destroy you. You have lost a little piece of yourself that can never be replaced but you have to go on. If he cheated on you then he is trying to tell you something or he doesn't even really know what love really is. In which case you deserve so much better!

@SW-User it's just sad because he was good to me this whole time, he even knew my horrible habits of going out with friends and getting guys numbers.. I'd never do anything with the guys, however I sent a few pictures and it was just a mess. I was a mess the whole relationship and never really tried. I knew I wasn't ready and I should've listened to myself, but people kept pushing for me to give him a chance.
See I had been single for about three years before him because my first high school relationship tore me apart, he didn't even tell me why he left... but a part of me is questioning if I treated him this same way and didn't realize what I had until it was gone?

@river52 lol I have one friend, but she wants me to marry her after she gets back from basics to get away from all of this.

@StonerGirl69 you are way tooooo young to be married.......

@river52 I thought the same, but it seems like the best option. I really just want to get in school but not in my hometown where I know everyone.