Decided two things today [I Battle Depression]

I sit and i think alone quite often, and today i came to two conclusions. First i accepted the fact that i don't like myself, there is not one thing i like about myself, i don't like the way i look, i don't like the way i talk, i don't like the way i think, i don't like my level of intelligence, my career or anything else about myself...i hate me. I still go to bed most nights hoping that i just won't wake up in the morning...no i don't actively seek out death, i have no interest in suicide, i just want life to be over. The second thing i figured out today is that i just don't care anymore, about anything. Nothing in life is worth worrying about, nothing is worth getting excited about, there is nothing to be happy about or sad about or angry about, it is a waste of time and effort to even bother to react to anything anymore. I felt the need to get this off my chest tonight. Not that it does or even should matter to anyone it's just my own rambling mind.