The moment you realize... [I Battle Depression]

That no matter what you change in your life your probably going to always be this miserable forever. I keep reaching goals, or changing this and that just to realize it's not enough to change what's going on in my head. I cried the other day after grocery shopping seeing a couple at the store being playful and just happy, like truly happy. Seeing them made it really sink in that I'll probably never feel that way and I'm too much of a coward to change anything in my life to make that happen. Listening to the Beatles sing about love and shit don't help. It's what I deserve though, I mean what did I expect?

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MushroomFaerie

Thats exactly how I feel...trapped by myself and feel like I'll never be able to get out no matter how much I learn and grow and try...feels like I'm the only one

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Mindful · 56-60, F

@MushroomFaerie @ @XcookiexbakerX get out of what? If you are growing as a person, and touching the lives of others in any way, that’s valuable. Life itself has value. Maybe you’re comparing yourself to media or images of media, stories highlighted in media, that are created to sell something so they are projected to be more than they really are to appeal to people’s insecurities just to SELL something.... please don’t compare yourself to anything g that is make believe.

MushroomFaerie

@Mindful its not about comparison to others...its about inner forfilment and breaking free of self forfilling prophecies but thanks

Mindful · 56-60, F

@MushroomFaerie well inspite of my response, I do feel trapped but I know I have a chemical imbalance. Have you ever been diagnosed with depression? Just wondering.

And something g I’m going to ask myself, (again) what would make you value yourself more? What has to be happening in your life to bring you fulfillment? I have a theory that the lack of fulfillment is supposed to motivate you to act .... (you as in everyone) so there’s a little “fulfillment deficiency” in everyone, all the time except when they are actively engaged in doing what they believe matters.

PhilDeep · 51-55, M

Sounds like you're in a very low mood, maybe have been for a while. Hope there are times you are not. Personally I try to keep some hope, and keep trying, no matter how hard things get. Hope you have some support out in the real world.

Mindful · 56-60, F

You need to move to a different city... after you start taking medication On a regular basis.. You’re too hard on yourself.and no ones life is perfect no matter how happy they appear at any one moment? Maybe some one has seen you laugh or smile and thought the same of you or someone else you know. It’s what you expect— that becomes.

SW-User

relatable
Sorry you sometimes feel like this
😕

SW-User

Not to make you more miserable but this is how you might be feeling right now.
[youtube=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8kUDvn_N_Ow]

XcookiexbakerX · 31-35, F

@SW-User also like [youtube=https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=tAe2Q_LhY8g]

SW-User

@XcookiexbakerX I know that song. You have good taste in music.

Montanaman · M

Expect the unexpected. Change is inevitable, but growth takes work. 🤗🤗💞

Donotfolowme · 51-55, F

Its hard, very hard

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