The moment you realize... [I Battle Depression]

That no matter what you change in your life your probably going to always be this miserable forever. I keep reaching goals, or changing this and that just to realize it's not enough to change what's going on in my head. I cried the other day after grocery shopping seeing a couple at the store being playful and just happy, like truly happy. Seeing them made it really sink in that I'll probably never feel that way and I'm too much of a coward to change anything in my life to make that happen. Listening to the Beatles sing about love and shit don't help. It's what I deserve though, I mean what did I expect?