I Want to Understand Human Behavior

I used to work for the local social services dept. I'd been there maybe three years when I met my now, former wife.
It was crazy! I'd work nights, days, 3 weekends out of four. It just made living with a partner very difficult.
She would often complain that she didnt know much about those i looked after. Nor any of my colleagues.
I explained that because of the nature of the work there was a great deal of privacy and confidentiality involved.
We had to sign contracts specifically prohibiting any discussion with any outside source not directly involved with the cases I had! There are LAWS on this stuff !!
So it was always a bone of contention.
And god help me if I got a string of emergency phone calls from colleagues at any point during the day!!!
Sometimes maybe the mrs. and I would go shopping in town. On the odd occasion I might run into a colleague I hadn't seen for a while. So maybe we'd stop and have a five minute catch up.
Afterwards, the mrs. would be all over me!
Demanding to know who they were! How did I know them ? What did they mean by.......' Etc!
It was a constant headache!
In quiet moments she would acknowledge that she always felt jelous of some of them. Although I could never figure out why! I think it was a self image thing. Most of the folk i worked with were bat-shit crazy!!!
Always had relationship issues.
Some I know we're drinkers or drug takers. It was THEIR method of coping!
But jelous she always seemed to be.
Did make life very hard for a long time.

[c=#4C0073]Not very much bothers me. I think you don't understand it because you see it as someone looking at you like a possession. I see it as caring. This person wanted you in their lives so much that the thought of someone swaying your affections bothered them. It bothered them to the point that they felt the need to let others know that you were someone extremely special to them. I used to love it when my ex-fiance would get all aggressively affectionate when we were around other guys. It let me know that I was special to him and he didn't mind letting others know that he wouldn't let me go without a fight. Its not insecurities. People have differing views on beauty and attraction. Anyone can be dumped or cheated on. Its arrogant to think oh I'm the greatest so I don't have to worry about being dumped or cheated on. Its human nature to worry and what you call possessiveness is an outward show of that worry. [/c]

Lovely - I definitely had some odd moments here and there that made me jealous but I would never allow my feelings to make him feel as if he has done something wrong. There were fights that would leave me questioning my behavior, how unfair is that? Being insecure is my problem to deal with, it is wrong to pass blame. Whilst with him I was not allowed to go places without him accompanying me, I mean come on? I loved this man but one thing that I could never come to terms with is the way his mind worked. I eventually decided that, just maybe he was accusing me of stuff he himself was capable off.

[c=#4C0073]Yeah there's a fine line between caring and irrationality. My ex never stopped me from going anywhere I wanted, he'd just be up waiting for me to come home. There were times when he didn't want me to go, but he was never stupid enough to try and stop me. lol Yeah I've been there where I had to realize some of the things I did hurt him and it was no fault of my own. I had to decide was it more important for me to behave that way or for me to not upset him.[/c]

always better to take it slow with people. hard lesson learnt

Breathingeasy - she interrupted the conversation introducing herself, " Hi I am Amy, did he tell you he has a fiancé?"
I said, "No"
She then went on to say, " well he does and we have 1 year old daughter together"
Just when I thought she was done she then starts giggling in his ear, kissing his neck ...
At the end of the day I received a call from the guy apologizing on her behalf.

Linda - that could be true. I myself don't cling to people easily, I am quiet good when it comes to keeping my feelings and emotions in check. They rarely go astray. However, who knows there might be an odd situation that may arise in my future, only time will tell.

Breathingeasy - If anything I truly feel sorry for the guy, I fully understand what he might be going through. It won't take too long before her childishness will start become unbearable for him. I hope she reforms before it's too late.

Insecurities might come out of low self esteem and lack of trust on our so called loved ones

I'm quite opposite. Don't keep things inside. It makes me even more sad when misunderstood

I just do not understand some people . I am curious about how did you realize she felt threatened ?

I just like to know my lady is enjoying herself that's being nonpossessive

I think many relationships start out possessive until theyher over it in 7 years. Lol

getting too attached is also insecure

it will leave you in pain one day

@Kryptonite: that is just childish .

Glad you still got hearts for me

I felt that way. Maybe I was wrong