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I Want to Understand Human Behavior

More specifically, possessiveness in relationships.

Whilst trying to assist a client at the office yesterday, I was taken by surprise when his fiance felt a little threatened by me for no apparent reason. What seemed like a very casual conversation quickly turned awkward. Then it got me thinking how my husband used to show such possessiveness over me. There were times when his petty jealousy would make me feel like I was some type of possession to him rather than his partner. Most of our arguments always led to him suspecting me, or accusing me with other men.
What brings about such insecurities in a relationship? What is one partner doing wrong that surfaces such feelings? Although being single can be hard at times, I wouldn't have things any other way. I hate having to answer to anyone, and spend my days fighting off baseless accusations.

I enjoy being independent on all levels.

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Picklebobble · 56-60, M

I used to work for the local social services dept. I'd been there maybe three years when I met my now, former wife.
It was crazy! I'd work nights, days, 3 weekends out of four. It just made living with a partner very difficult.
She would often complain that she didnt know much about those i looked after. Nor any of my colleagues.
I explained that because of the nature of the work there was a great deal of privacy and confidentiality involved.
We had to sign contracts specifically prohibiting any discussion with any outside source not directly involved with the cases I had! There are LAWS on this stuff !!
So it was always a bone of contention.
And god help me if I got a string of emergency phone calls from colleagues at any point during the day!!!
Sometimes maybe the mrs. and I would go shopping in town. On the odd occasion I might run into a colleague I hadn't seen for a while. So maybe we'd stop and have a five minute catch up.
Afterwards, the mrs. would be all over me!
Demanding to know who they were! How did I know them ? What did they mean by.......' Etc!
It was a constant headache!
In quiet moments she would acknowledge that she always felt jelous of some of them. Although I could never figure out why! I think it was a self image thing. Most of the folk i worked with were bat-shit crazy!!!
Always had relationship issues.
Some I know we're drinkers or drug takers. It was THEIR method of coping!
But jelous she always seemed to be.
Did make life very hard for a long time.