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I Am A Caregiver To My Spouse

One of the rare times I am not going to try to be positive. This is really getting to be too much for me. My wife is getting a lot worse and I've started breaking down and crying when she does. The past few weeks have been so hard on me. I know it is only going to get harder. I'm hating my life more and more every day. I'm not looking for sympathy or pity. This just really sucks when I have to be strong for my wife and her mother and I can't find a reason or get any help for me to smile. I guess I really am a nice guy, because I sure do feel like I'm finishing last. Life sucks, I can't wait for it to end!

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samueltyler2 · 80-89, M

Life can throw you bad curve balls. What is ailing her?

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Peaches · F

@gmatthewb Yes, I KNOW I'd feel the same!🥺

gmatthewb · 51-55, M

@Peaches I hope you always have someone supportive in your life when you need them.

Peaches · F

@gmatthewb I doubt it so I pray all the time I go in my sleep! 🙏🏼

Dewkissedrose · 46-50, F

😔 I'm so sorry to hear this. I have not been in this position, but my spouse has had to take care of me at times. I feel guilty when that happens, and I know it is frustrating for him.

Despite the frustration for you, I know your wife is very grateful for what you do for her.

Peaches · F

We have a friend going through this too, 😔I posted a story about it yesterday. Now she keeps falling and he could no longer pick her up, she's in a nursing home and then the next day he had to put their dog down! I sat with him a long time while he talked about how they came to be where they are and how much he loves his wife, he cried so much, I hated to leave him alone like that. 💔I'll never understand why the end of our lives has to be so sad for a lot of people.

gmatthewb · 51-55, M

@Peaches I am sorry to hear about your friend. I'm glad you were able to be there to support your friend though. That is very important and am I sure you helped a lot.

Peaches · F

@gmatthewb I know, he's alone too. 😔

gmatthewb · 51-55, M

@Peaches Very few things worse that being alone. I feel alone most of the time. Any time I hear someone is feeling alone or sad, I do what ever I can to help them not feel that way.

Coralmist · 41-45, F

Aww just know you do so much, you do what you can, when you can, and that is enough. It is healthy and needed to cry in trying times when a loved one is going through an ailment. You are very strong for her, but sometimes 'you' need someone to be there for You. I hope you know we all are here for you and that just being in the 'now' can help🍀

gmatthewb · 51-55, M

@Coralmist Thank you. I do my best not to bother anyone on here with my issues though. Very rare for me to talk about anything that is bothering me with anyone.

Coralmist · 41-45, F

@gmatthewb Talking about them helps though, even if a little. Don't ever think you are a burden that you can't discuss here what goes on in your life. You have JUST as much right as anyone here, esp. More... many times ppl are just complaining, 'Oh My food is too hot!' or, 'My boss is so annoing' etc.... it is ok to 'let it out' from time to time🌼

gmatthewb · 51-55, M

@Coralmist I do understand that talking about my problems and issues help, most times I don't even know where to start. My stories only really touch on a small part of what is bothering me most of the time and what I have gone through in my life. I try to be positive on this site though, as much as I can. I don't want to add to the negativity that seems to run wild here at times. Also, I am a much better listener than a talker. Always have been

xixgun · M

Nothing worse than not being able to help or “fix it”. Apparently this is most distressing for men. Women can’t complain to us because we immediately seek to “fix it”, when all they were doing was bitching. As we all do.

Being unable to stop a loved one feeling pain, be it physical or emotional, is one of the most helpless feelings in the world.

I’m sorry you’re both in the situation you are.

revenant · F

we all need to get those turning and turning and turning thoughts out of our minds

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revenant · F

@gmatthewb emotions need to be processed and that can take time and it can take time to find the words. Chaos is hard to deal with.

gmatthewb · 51-55, M

@revenant That is very true, sometimes words also fall short in some situations.

revenant · F

@gmatthewb yes

Echoing · 61-69, F

God bless you and your wife. May you be blessed with strength!!!

Gangstress · 41-45, F

Gosh,I'm so sorry 😔

gmatthewb · 51-55, M

@Gangstress Thank you

Butterflykisses24 · 51-55, F

Hugs Mattie.

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