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I Am A Caregiver To My Spouse

One of the rare times I am not going to try to be positive. This is really getting to be too much for me. My wife is getting a lot worse and I've started breaking down and crying when she does. The past few weeks have been so hard on me. I know it is only going to get harder. I'm hating my life more and more every day. I'm not looking for sympathy or pity. This just really sucks when I have to be strong for my wife and her mother and I can't find a reason or get any help for me to smile. I guess I really am a nice guy, because I sure do feel like I'm finishing last. Life sucks, I can't wait for it to end!

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samueltyler2 · 80-89, M

Life can throw you bad curve balls. What is ailing her?

gmatthewb · 51-55, M

@samueltyler2 ALS, just over 4 years since she started showing symptoms.

samueltyler2 · 80-89, M

So sorry to hear. Do you have arrangements for respit care to help?

gmatthewb · 51-55, M

@samueltyler2 She has workers who come in to tend to her, but she only really feels comfortable with me.

samueltyler2 · 80-89, M

@gmatthewb is there a good support system for you in Canada? I know there is in the USA. One of my son's good high school buddy has ALS and is doing very poorly now.

gmatthewb · 51-55, M

@samueltyler2 There probably is good support here for me, but I can't schedule any time I can be away from my wife. So none of them work for me all. I have no friends or family that will come to my home to support me either.

samueltyler2 · 80-89, M

@gmatthewb that is what the ALS group in the US does, helps provide equipment and personnel.

gmatthewb · 51-55, M

@samueltyler2 Yes, we have that, all the equipment and support is for my wife, as it should be. It is wonderful all the support she gets.

samueltyler2 · 80-89, M

@gmatthewb but they have no respite services for you? Sad if that is true.

gmatthewb · 51-55, M

@samueltyler2 They do, but my wife doesn't feel comfortable if I'm not here. Even when they come to tend to her. She qualifies for over 90 hours a month plus respite services. She doesn't want me to leave the house regardless for more than an hour at a time. My wife has enough going on, I'm not going to tell her than I need a break even though I do. Her comfort and happiness is my top priority.

samueltyler2 · 80-89, M

@gmatthewb very noble of you, but if you collapse, she has no one.

1Dogma · F

@samueltyler2 true, @gmatthewb you need to tell her that you need some rest too.

gmatthewb · 51-55, M

@samueltyler2 @1Dogma I'm physically doing well enough, I will be able to last until her end.

Peaches · F

@gmatthewb Still, you should tell her how you're feeling. 😔

gmatthewb · 51-55, M

@Peaches The way I see it, she will only be alive another 6 months at most. She is going through enough and doesn't need to worry about me in anyway. I only want her happy and comfortable. I am suffering a lot these days, but her comfort and happiness is more important to me. As long as I am able to give her a smile, I will. Even if it rips me apart inside. I'll worry about myself after she passes, if I have the motivation to.

Peaches · F

@gmatthewb That's what my friend Don said about his wife Judy, then he broke out in huge quarter sized blisters all over his body?! 😲 His doctor said it was from extreme stress! Stress can kill you.😢

gmatthewb · 51-55, M

@Peaches Yes it can, I'm managing very well though and feel I can make it. I just wish I had some friends around me to help me. It is so hard to go through this alone

Peaches · F

@gmatthewb Yes, I KNOW I'd feel the same!🥺

gmatthewb · 51-55, M

@Peaches I hope you always have someone supportive in your life when you need them.

Peaches · F

@gmatthewb I doubt it so I pray all the time I go in my sleep! 🙏🏼