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I Am Glad People Can't Read My Thoughts

But..., here are a few of them.
Go ahead..., read my thoughts...
;)

I'm just a good guy that excells at making bad choices and wrong decisions....Being close to 49 years old, it makes me believe that I'm unlikely to change any of these facts before I die. Which if God has any pity will be in like 5 or 10 years.....

Anyways, I've always been me. I look back at my life that's passed and I cannot find one single instance of me trying to be anyone else. Even that Halloween when I was dressed as Wolverine and ended up defending some woman from being beaten by her boyfriend. I wasn't trying to play The Hero. I just did what Rob would do.

So yeah, I'm me. I won't apologize for that. I just can't help it.

It's cost me more than I've gained, and it definitely wears me down a bit. But, no man was made out of stone until long after he was dead. I doubt anyone will ever turn me into stone either. Stone people are made of more notable folk than I for a many good reason.

I'm kinda sitting here. Kinda just typing some stupid shit that most people will ignore. Most people are stupid so that doesn't bother me at all. I type mostly because I like to type. It's a distraction of sorts. One that I use when I feel like being distracted from all the many bad choices and wrong decisions that have made up this non-essential life of mine. A life that has rambled on in just as disconjointed a manner as most of my posts.

I think a lot. I don't recommend it to anyone. Thinking often leads to feeling and that there is another thing that I don't often reccomend to people. While there are feelings that are fun to feel, there are so many more feelings that can suck the life right out of you. Maybe it's a far better thing to remain blissfully ignorant ? Bliss hasn't ever touched me yet, so I really wouldn't know.

"I think therefore I am" some dead guy once said. That guy was an asshat that really only wanted to poke fun at me. Don't listen to him. You're you even if you don't think ! I only know that because I know a bunch of people that never think and they're still right there when I look at them. So please..., think less, do more, be happy.

Isn't that the hope of all living things when you boil all of their varied hopes down ? Happiness.... Why else would anyone do anything that they do ? They think it will make them happy in some way.

People do all types of shit. They feel all types of ways. They're entitled to that shit. All of the things they feel comes from somewhere. They have reasons for feeling the way they do. I get it. But it's biased. Framed and formed in their own mind by the biases they keep and harbor. It's cool.

Perception is something I've talked about in the past. It's something I've paid more mind to in the past few years. I've come to the conclusion that a persons perceptions only speak to the people they are, and the way they choose to view the world and all that's in it. Those perceptions don't really define the things or people they're perceiving. It only defines the way they choose to view things.

I like to ramble. I like to type. I like to type rambles that have nothing much to offer but more questions that I can ponder. I tend to ponder almost as much as I ramble. I ramble almost as much as I contemplate. I contemplate everything in my own biased perception, and sometimes I pontificate.

Be well
Live happy
Die trying
Stop judging,
Rob
SW-User
Sorry life has you down, and you've detailed it well reasoned with a certain kind of kindness, drawn from sadness. One you can actually take hope in that, you see what to take sadness in, that is the mark of a caring loving person which is the preface, or why you are kind.

But, you can't let yourself beat yourself down.

And always feel feel to type, and ramble. So if one perspective leads to another (happens) that leads you a certain way don't hide from it. I've felt that change from one perspective, in love, change to a dark place within me.

We all get hurt. And maybe the hardest is when we know we can somehow change those things in ourselves, and yet all attempts lead to an unsettlingly we are here again?

In a way, it does really matter, people all do sorts of shit - how does it matter?
SW-User
@HikingMan Yes

It's lovely you want nothing for yourself, but clearly you do

and no one else knows how to express for you, then you.
HikingMan · 51-55, M
I want others to
Be well
To
Live happy
And die trying

That's it.

You can believe that or not. It's all the same to me.

It's a perception thing....

There are very few people that can read me clearly. Fewer still that can understand completely what they think they've read.

For a simple guy, I'm very complex.

I am going to crash. I have to be up in 4 hours so that I can go to the rinks to run my hockey program.

3 teams, 4 games each before thos weekend is done. Hopefully 5 games each which will mean those little kids will have made ot to the finals.

I have a 14 hour hockey day staring me in my eye. I need to do what those kids and their families need me to do.

Thay way they can all smile, amd I can come home to sit and contemplate thos darkness of mine.

Thanks for the chat.
You seem like a nice fellow.

Feel free to read any of my things. Not sure it will help with understanding me. But, it might.

I'm off to the land of my nightmares now. 4 hours of that os enough for anyone.

Be well
Live happy
Die trying,
Rob
SW-User
@HikingMan Thanks, I think things are simpler (space, life, time) are then you put them. I do feel you engage in mental self-harm, and maybe cloud that in moments in what you do. I suspect that is normal.
Yeah, I could almost read your mind for 2 minutes and boy! You've a busy mind....🙄
HikingMan · 51-55, M
I always tell the truth. Another downfall of mine.
SW-User
@HikingMan [quote]I mostly rhyme, but there is so much more if one looks.[/quote]

Yep!!
HikingMan · 51-55, M
Yup !
Fungirlmmm · 51-55, F
Wow. You had a lot to say. What do you think is the worst mistake you have ever made? And what do you think has been your most redeemable moment to date?
Fungirlmmm · 51-55, F
@HikingMan I shall return and I do hit Boston sometimes.:)
HikingMan · 51-55, M
Be well
Live happy
Die trying.....

[youtube=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P9LJRvMJu60]
Fungirlmmm · 51-55, F
@HikingMan night my friend.
damselfly · 100+, F
It's nonsense to think you can't change at any time. You're just depressed. That pretty much always changes.

I once heard Professor Lewis Wolport on the radio, speaking not about genetic engineering but his own depression, which he figured out how to fix. He made a study of other depressives (not talking about bi-polar people) and figured they got depressed when their thinking was in a rut of unrecognised self centredness.

That might sound like a judgement on you, but it really isn't. I know full well that you're a thoroughly nice guy. But depression is a rhythm of focusing on how the world of other people revolves around you, without considering that others have similar or worse shortcomings, and besetting problems too. And it can be intellectually controlled. Jump out of the rut of thinking. If you can jump the rut, accept that everyone else you know can be as wrong/bad/unsure of themselves/well meaning/having a bad day as you, you can fix it. That rude person in such a hurry that they push past you because they've seen what a lower you are - they're more likely to simply be having a panic attack, not being rude to you. Its not about you. Its abour them. Make excuses for other people. Dont assume that all others are normal, happy, balanced and in full control of themselves, or that any absent mindedness in others towards you is a deliberate slight or judgement. The cure is, train yourself to accept if someone you know walks past you without acknowledging you, it's far more likely theyre lost in priorities of their own and didnt see you.
HikingMan · 51-55, M
I'm not so sure ruts last 47 years. Nor, despite the longest aet of replies here, was the post really about depression.

I understand that there are worse people than I. People with problems larger than mine. I also know that I'm a good guy. It's all in there. A lot of people perceive that I am depressed. Which I am, and have been since my son passed away. But saying a person can just choose to be happy, no matter how intellectually typed, falls far short of what's really true. I'll leave out the fact that this particular post wasn't even about being depressed. It wasn't even written on what would be considered a bad day.

Anywho, I tend to ramble and people tend to percieve these rambles in manners that they choose to percieve them. Which is all fine with me. As I said, others perceptions of me don't really say anything about me. The same is true of the perceptions taken from my rambling.

I would never assume to be the center of anything. Nor do I assume that anyone, certainly not the world itself, revolves around me. I let people do as they will and I do as I do. Which might be considered the entire point of this typened jumble of words.

I guess the part about God having pity on me and dying in 5 or 10 years sent a lot of minds down a single corridor. But honestly, I'd die contentedly knowing that I was a good guy to a great many good people. I've even been a great guy to a good many bad people.

Death has no hold on me. Nor do I fear it. It will come when it comes and I'll likely be just as tired of the everyday as I tend to be everyday. It's of very little consequence to me. Though I'm sure a lot of people will miss me after that. There certainly won't be any staues made.

My bad choices and wrong decisions are simply just that. The same as every other person on the planet. I wasn't crying out. I was stating that I am more or less just like everyone else. Saying that I will quite likely make more before I'm all done. The whole time, I'll be making those miatakes while being a good guy. A guy that understands his best is hos best and is happy with that effort. A guy that know it's not about him.

I just woke up and I need to get ready for the 6 hockey games I'll be coaching today. I thank you for your words. I'm glad you took the time to type them. Thank you being a kind soul.

Be well
Live happy
Die trying,
Rob
damselfly · 100+, F
Expressing myself in a way that gets it across is maybe a too abstract. It's not about "deciding" to be happy. If anything it's the reverse of having a will about your own mood. It's about prioritising the feelings of those you interact with, even if it seems counterintuitive
HikingMan · 51-55, M
I wasn't making judgements. I appreciate every word you typed. I'm glad that you typed them. Gladder still that I read them.

I am a rather normal and ordinary fellow. Though I type of darker things I am particularly well adjusted and I compartmentalize extremely well. I've been through a lot and I've witnessed even more. I've seen all of life's many varied offerings.

No one single part of my life could ever consume all.

One could say I've kinda designed it that way.

I'm also quite likely the realest and most honest person on SW. That's no boast. I've just looked around a great deal.

Hell, if anyone took the time to read every word I've ever typed here, they'd probably be able to visit me unannounced.

I am happy that you're here and are willing to offer such caring and kind words to someone who could be another anonymous soul crawling along the interwebs seoking absolution anx praise. The world is much better by far that you exist.

Thank you for being you and taking the time to read and reply. It does mean a lot to me even ifmy words sound wrong when you read them.
SW-User
[quote]I'm kinda sitting here. Kinda just typing some stupid shit that most people will ignore.[/quote]

Oh sweet friend, I could never ignore you. I appreciate everything you ramble. Probably because I relate so much. [i]THIS is the very epitome of ME[/i].......

[quote]I like to ramble. I like to type. I like to type rambles that have nothing much to offer but more questions that I can ponder. I tend to ponder almost as much as I ramble. I ramble almost as much as I contemplate. I contemplate everything in my own biased perception, and sometimes I pontificate. [/quote]

Thanks for teaching me a new word once again..pontificate.😋
It's good to see your words!
HikingMan · 51-55, M
Never pity a man who refuses to pity himself.

My pains are almost my passion at this stage.
SW-User
@HikingMan I didn't realize hurting with someone was pity.. probably why I've empathized more with animals than people
HikingMan · 51-55, M
I'm glad you get me.
Unhappy that I'm not getting notifications of your replies on thos post...
:(
Magenta · F
This: [quote]There are very few people that can read me clearly. Fewer still that can understand completely what they think they've read.[/quote]
As [b]I[/b] say...the best way to truly know someone, is to not think we do.

And your next to last paragraph concerning perception = spot on.

I've always enjoyed your musings and poems and your depth and substance. 💕
HikingMan · 51-55, M
I've always enjoyed your enjoyment.

Thank you.

Rob

 
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