I Have a Hard Time Making Friends

I spend 5 days a week alone ,and I have grown for the most part to enjoy it
but I am in physical pain so I need a distraction ,,SW is good for that
and I have met so many kind and caring people ,they are now my extended family
I used to build or restore old mansions ,and my partner and a helper would talk and cut up all day and time just flew by ,we didn't mind working up into the night if we had something I wanted to get completed so we could start on something else
I also played night clubs ,I met the right people doing that and got the chance to be the opening act for a lot of really good bands .and I was invited to join in a jam with quite a few ..
So my mind was always busy ,,and my friends and I talked about our jobs and how good we are and the people we worked for ,,
Then I was crippled ,,alone every day when my wife was at work ,getting on a potty chair was hell ,,she took care of me until her Mom got me into see a surgeon and he removed part of my spine that was crushing my Sciatica Nerve
I was like a new man ,back to work 9 days after surgery
I was suppose to recover for 6 months ,,I never slowed down
People called me sorry and worthless when I was laid up ,no one knew the pain I had been in
but not listening to my doctors has caught up with me again ,and now I can't get anyone to operate ,,its taken me a long time just to get anyone to manage my pain ,(I messed up and admitted I self medicated to keep working )
Now I am alone again ,,my son is with me on weekends and my kids visit from time to time ,,
but they ask how I keep from going nuts ,,I keep my mind busy and I control what I think ..I don't allow drama in my life and I refuse to sit and dwell on the negative things that have happened to me in my life
I share some of my stories ,,just to say I have done it all
and now I am reduced to this ,,but if I can fight you can too
But I am a cave and a water fall men
I was happy snowed in for 2 weeks at a time with just my wife
her and I and no one else swimming and making love by a mountain stream
Hanging out in caves and caverns
But I do tend to talk a lot now
Its not always easy to keep my mind busy and off of my pain
sometimes typing makes my shoulder hurt until it burns ,then I have to quit
then its music and a movie time
It is all about perspective ,,

I read this post once. Then reread it because I realized that I was staring into a mirror.

This time of the year brings out sadness because I have to deal with the fact that I will be stuck indoors a good portion of the time. I miss the solitude of nature and my chances to meditate and clear my mind. There are too many distractions being cooped up in the house to properly cleanse myself mentally.

And I do have acquaintances that many people would consider friends as they've been there in time of need. But there is no real connection as our interests are so different. Of course, my lifestyle is not for everyone either so it is better to live in some solitude.

This winter will bring on some changes I hope. Like you I need things to occupy myself. And hope that by spring a metamorphosis will take place.

I hear ya! I’m leaving for Shenandoah National Park on Thursday just to backpack and get away for a while... and be one with God... that is my cathedral

i always struggled in school, i didnt have many friends who were guys i had a small group of friends who were girls who let me hang out most of the time, im not much better now