Synchronicity at it's best going on at this moment.
As the colder weather gets here, the more restless I become. Wishing I was near friends to help pass the season..yup...not some time or a day but a season...lol.. 😲
I pretty much stay busy and very happy as I live outside every waking moment during the warmer seasons. I love gardening, hiking and just being quietly outside under a shade tree, reading.
My husband and I were talking about my friends coming in next week. They are making this trip to see the colors of the trees and help me to get my fill of … talking. 😎 I told him how I was feeling lonely and wish I could make friends here. He told me, you make friends easier than most folks do. I replied, friends and acquaintances are two totally different things. He then said something that stopped me dead in my tracks. He told me... I have always dreamed of being tucked-away in the mountains and woods. Because I am such a private soul. I am a loner by nature. I am not a social butterfly. "Being bored is my problem, not loneliness ..not making friends!"
Sooo… I have been pondering on this... Yup... I have a hard time making friends because of my own doings and how I wish to be, or it's how I am... 80 percent of the time... Alone.
So, a light came on.. Thank the Heavens! I must find something to keep my mind and hands busy this winter. I really do.. do fine being alone, without friends, or company everyday. So this feeling of loneliness disappeared. My perspective, attitude and emotions changed instantly.
I am not saying I don't need friends, we all need to interact. That is what this site is for, for me.
I do really enjoy, cherish my solitude. It's good for MY soul.
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I spend 5 days a week alone ,and I have grown for the most part to enjoy it but I am in physical pain so I need a distraction ,,SW is good for that and I have met so many kind and caring people ,they are now my extended family I used to build or restore old mansions ,and my partner and a helper would talk and cut up all day and time just flew by ,we didn't mind working up into the night if we had something I wanted to get completed so we could start on something else I also played night clubs ,I met the right people doing that and got the chance to be the opening act for a lot of really good bands .and I was invited to join in a jam with quite a few .. So my mind was always busy ,,and my friends and I talked about our jobs and how good we are and the people we worked for ,, Then I was crippled ,,alone every day when my wife was at work ,getting on a potty chair was hell ,,she took care of me until her Mom got me into see a surgeon and he removed part of my spine that was crushing my Sciatica Nerve I was like a new man ,back to work 9 days after surgery I was suppose to recover for 6 months ,,I never slowed down People called me sorry and worthless when I was laid up ,no one knew the pain I had been in but not listening to my doctors has caught up with me again ,and now I can't get anyone to operate ,,its taken me a long time just to get anyone to manage my pain ,(I messed up and admitted I self medicated to keep working ) Now I am alone again ,,my son is with me on weekends and my kids visit from time to time ,, but they ask how I keep from going nuts ,,I keep my mind busy and I control what I think ..I don't allow drama in my life and I refuse to sit and dwell on the negative things that have happened to me in my life I share some of my stories ,,just to say I have done it all and now I am reduced to this ,,but if I can fight you can too But I am a cave and a water fall men I was happy snowed in for 2 weeks at a time with just my wife her and I and no one else swimming and making love by a mountain stream Hanging out in caves and caverns But I do tend to talk a lot now Its not always easy to keep my mind busy and off of my pain sometimes typing makes my shoulder hurt until it burns ,then I have to quit then its music and a movie time It is all about perspective ,,
