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Have you ever been dumped for being autistic?

I’ve been dumped three times because of my autism (Asperger’s).

One guy found out that I have autism and distanced himself from me and then he said he didn’t want to date someone with a disability and broke my heart. (July-August 2011)

The second time I got dumped my boyfriend at the time asked me what is one thing about me that he doesn’t know. I hesitant to tell him but I just told him about my Asperger’s. He had no idea what that was and I had to explain to him. Everything was fine but then a month later he also broke things off with me. (September 2012 - March 2013)

And then my current ex-boyfriend I dated for three months (January-April 2021) went behind my back and cheated on me with another girl and he didn’t want to be with a woman with Asperger’s.

I’m afraid that I’m never going to get married or have a family of my own because no man’s gonna wanna there a woman with autism (Asperger’s). I guess I meant to stay single. I’m 27 i’m three years away of turning 30.
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Allelse · 31-35, M
Nope. All my relationships always ended in a massive fight, lots of yelling, screaming and carrying on.
DizzyLizzy94 · 26-30, F
[@415694,Allelse] oh that really sucks. That’s happened to me too and I got very anxious
Allelse · 31-35, M
[@1023345,DizzyLizzy94] I'm sorry but look you're still young and a lot of people are having families later in life, so that things can be more stable.
Notanymore · 36-40, M
I've mostly been dumbed because of my looks and being uninteresting
DawsonsGrove · 51-55, F
It’s good they are out of your life because it proves they are not the right guys for you. I was dumped so many times it’s not even funny so you are not alone. The right guy will come along when you least expect it. I promise
DizzyLizzy94 · 26-30, F
[@506684,DawsonsGrove] what if he doesn’t? I’m not looking at anything but no man’s gonna ever want to go out with me because of my disability. My best friend has a boyfriend but she is also autistic. She has been with her boyfriend for about three years. I’m happy for her though.
DawsonsGrove · 51-55, F
[@1023345,DizzyLizzy94] if he doesn’t come along then that’s okay too. Never ever think that you have to have a guy in your life in order to be happy
I recently learned that I’m borderline autistic. It’s possible that some relationships ended for that reason, although not because I told the woman about it since I didn’t know myself.

My advice is to not say anything. If the guy can’t figure it out on his own, it’s probably not important.
Wiseacre · F
Yeah, maybe best![@1026,LeopoldBloom]
Wiseacre · F
Idk what to tell u...many ppl without autism can’t find a suitable life partner. Just don’t despair about it...love happens when u least expect it.
DizzyLizzy94 · 26-30, F
[@426791,Wiseacre] yeah that’s true. My older brothers told me that I should be glad that they dumped me because they weren’t right in their trash. I hated every boyfriend I had. That the two and they’re not afraid to call it as it is. They cared about my safety brother trying to make me happy sugarcoating it. They really know how to tell the hard truth and hurt my feelings but they don’t care they’ll tell it anyway. It sucks getting our heartbroken but it’s life.
Wiseacre · F
Yes, it does suck...maybe a friendship will turn romantic..best luck![@1023345,DizzyLizzy94]
PatKirby · 41-45, M
It's not contagious, don't tell them. Besides, it's no one's business but yours.
Ok, so you are "on the spectrum", but the Asperger's end is the better end of a scale which increasingly isolates & distances people.

If others did not know, you probably are not even that far into the Asperger's end.

Don't obsess about it. It is a part of you, and the people who matter will be able to accept it like your eye color(s), your taste in music, your speech patterns.

The people who freak out...well, some may well come around, but people who drop you because of it--when they were fine with you BEFORE finding it out!--are not ones to wait for.

This is in part a SELF-selection process, and THEY (these latter fools) are self-selecting to NOT find out how amazing you can be, yourself, and how amazing the two of you could be, together. If THEY won't bet on you/the two of you...then why should you?

You need someone who is in the relationship WITH you, willingly.
Such people DO exist. You only need to find one. Twenty-seven is not being at death's door; be patient, but be willing to see people for who THEY are. Esp. if they won't bet on you.
Bri89 · 31-35, M
No, but I had someone want to break up with me because I showed emotion. Apparently, guys are not allowed to show emotion.
DizzyLizzy94 · 26-30, F
[@1201485,Bri89] that’s totally unfair. You guys should be allowed to express your feelings. I don’t understand this guy should hold their feelings kind of thing.
HatterM · 46-50, M
I've been abused over it to the point of completely giving up myself. Tgere's no point letting myself get hurt repeatedly. That's been my conclusion.
DizzyLizzy94 · 26-30, F
[@1044765,HatterM] Well I’m really sorry to hear that
melissa001 · 51-55, F
No but I got dumped by my boyfriend who has aspergers.
DizzyLizzy94 · 26-30, F
[@507791,melissa001] wow why?
melissa001 · 51-55, F
[@1023345,DizzyLizzy94] he wanted someone younger. So really not like your story. I'm sorry for your situation.
DizzyLizzy94 · 26-30, F
[@507791,melissa001] I’m sorry too
Xavierr · 46-50, M
I have Asperger's too. I just don't tell them I have it.

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