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I Am Depressed

some days I'm happy, most days I'm sad, every day has sad moments! Nothing bad happens, I just often find myself lying there hating myself, my life and just the person I am! I'm not mean to anyone, I have no reason to feel this way, it's just an constant feeling in my life! Often At times, I'll think of death, the joy that day will have. Don't get me wrong, the suicidal thoughts are super rare now (they were common two years ago), but death is not something I fear! I sometimes get urges to relapse and start self harming again, but I am able to fight off the urge thank goodness! I'm in counseling now... not for my issues I just named, but my parents thought it would be good to talk about anger I have built up inside. I am constantly worrying about my future, if I will ever find someone who loves me, but then I ask myself how can I love someone else when I can't even love myself! I just hate myself and life honestly!
SoFine · 46-50, F
Test the truth?

You spend so much time in your mind - you jibber and jabber about emotions. Putting meaning on these emotions, then living out as if they are the truth of you.

That is why the GOLD in life is to still the mind. It takes time, is the best gift that you can give you. When you can be mind still, then you will realise that the one driving you nuts is you. You can be your own best friend or your foe. The choice is yours, be free or be trapped in your mind.

Yes, no one can have you be happy in life - that is your job for you. How you will do this is for you to figure out.

Then know under anger is FEAR ..
Fear of failure
Fear of been alone
Fear of success
Fear of rejection

So you alone can change this - that is if you are willing to to this or not ...


Quote for you:
Whenever the internal dialogue stops, the world collapses and extraordinary facets of ourselves surface, as though they had been heavily guarded by our words. You are like you are, because you tell yourself that you are that way.
Don Juan Matus
melissa001 · 51-55, F
Been there done that, and unfortunately still dealing with it. I'm sorry. I know its hard to continue life with it. But try to stay strong. ☹

 
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