I Am Grieving
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I Am Grieving

No matter how strong I am, no matter what progress I have made during the week on my goals of going on with my life....Sundays knock me down. Lenny died on a Sunday 26 weeks ago at 6:30PM. Today, like every Sunday since, I am just laying in bed crying. Thinking...what if I had done this or that. Thinking maybe we should've gotten a fourth or 5th opinion. Wishing I hadn't dozed off for those 20 mins, wishing instead I had been holding him & saying I loved him one last time. 26 weeks...that is a long time not to be with the love of my life, my handsome, brave, strong Lenny. I try to be brave and strong and to do all that he told me I should do when he was gone. But not on Sundays.
Teresa628
56-60, F
14 replies 123 views Aug 6, 2017
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DaveE54 · 56-60, MVIP
Stay strong time does heal xx
+ 2 · Reply · Translate · Apr 17, 2023
naughtyboy4u · 31-35, M
How we handle loss will define our lives. I used to think that it was my successes that made me, but it is loss, that changed me, warped me, re-molded me. I made it OK to be in the slow lane, for a long time. And time does heal. the love never dies, the form changes.... We rise because our love wanted it, then we rise because we want it.
+ 2 · Reply · Translate · Aug 6, 2017
Doctrble · 46-50, M
People claim it gets better with time but to me that is far from true. Remember your good times and dwell on them. He is beside you just talk to him. Hugs
+ 2 · Reply · Translate · Aug 6, 2017
Serenitree · F
I'm sorry. I know it's sad. How long were you together?
+ 2 · Reply · Translate · Aug 6, 2017
Teresa628 · 56-60, F
@Serenitree 20 years. So many obstacles we overcame...making our bond stronger. When he was diagnosed with terminal cancer, those last 16 months we got even closer and loved more than I ever thought possible. I was a very lucky woman.
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · Aug 6, 2017
Serenitree · F
@Teresa628 Yes, you were a very lucky woman. Some never get two happy years with a love. Of course that just makes the loss hurt all the more. I'm so sorry you went through the pain of watching him go through his pain. I know, from personal experience that hurts worst of all.
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · Aug 6, 2017
Fannyann · 61-69, F
Life is full of what if's .His death was not your fault, so do not condemn yourself.
You cannot spend 24/7 with even the most loved people in your life. This does not mean that they did not know that you loved them dearly.
Stay strong and live with the good memories of the times you shared together.xx
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · Aug 6, 2017
greenmountaingal · 70-79, F
I know you must have lost someone wonderful or you wouldn't be so grieved. I am sorry. May you be comforted by the memories.
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · Aug 6, 2017
Teresa628 · 56-60, F
@greenmountaingal Yes, thank you for your kind words.
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · Aug 6, 2017
SoftServe · 26-30, M
Sorry to hear it but you need to stop blaming yourself. Try a grief counselor. My mom went to one when her mom died.
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · Aug 6, 2017
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yfma53 · 70-79, M
I'm so sorry for your loss. Love and light to you.
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · Aug 6, 2017
SW-User
So sorry for your loss :( sending a hug.
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · Aug 6, 2017
gregloa · 61-69, M
So very sorry for the loss of your beloved husband. I know what it's like to have your spouse pass away.
+ 0 · Reply · Translate · Aug 6, 2017
 
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