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I Am Grieving

No matter how strong I am, no matter what progress I have made during the week on my goals of going on with my life....Sundays knock me down. Lenny died on a Sunday 26 weeks ago at 6:30PM. Today, like every Sunday since, I am just laying in bed crying. Thinking...what if I had done this or that. Thinking maybe we should've gotten a fourth or 5th opinion. Wishing I hadn't dozed off for those 20 mins, wishing instead I had been holding him & saying I loved him one last time. 26 weeks...that is a long time not to be with the love of my life, my handsome, brave, strong Lenny. I try to be brave and strong and to do all that he told me I should do when he was gone. But not on Sundays.

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Serenitree · F

I'm sorry. I know it's sad. How long were you together?

Teresa628 · 56-60, F

@Serenitree 20 years. So many obstacles we overcame...making our bond stronger. When he was diagnosed with terminal cancer, those last 16 months we got even closer and loved more than I ever thought possible. I was a very lucky woman.

Serenitree · F

@Teresa628 Yes, you were a very lucky woman. Some never get two happy years with a love. Of course that just makes the loss hurt all the more. I'm so sorry you went through the pain of watching him go through his pain. I know, from personal experience that hurts worst of all.