I Am Grieving

No matter how strong I am, no matter what progress I have made during the week on my goals of going on with my life....Sundays knock me down. Lenny died on a Sunday 26 weeks ago at 6:30PM. Today, like every Sunday since, I am just laying in bed crying. Thinking...what if I had done this or that. Thinking maybe we should've gotten a fourth or 5th opinion. Wishing I hadn't dozed off for those 20 mins, wishing instead I had been holding him & saying I loved him one last time. 26 weeks...that is a long time not to be with the love of my life, my handsome, brave, strong Lenny. I try to be brave and strong and to do all that he told me I should do when he was gone. But not on Sundays.