Hey guys.

I know, I know, this is probably the first time I've posted in like, forever, but I really need some help/advice. I have nowhere else to go..or rather nobody else to talk to so...I've come here.
Okay, so, I'm going to be getting a job (and also doing work experience again in about 2 months time, stress!!). I'm currently working on my CV but the thing is, I'm not a very social person. I mean, I'm obviously going to be lying to the company and more importantly, myself if I say I'm a very good communicator or that I have incredible communication skills. I don't talk very much now, and I'm rather quiet, and keep myself to myself. And tbh, I do like it that way. I know that I have to speak to other people whilst working and stuff but I feel as if I can't really do it. When I speak to others, especially strangers in my neighbourhood, or other places in general, I just go rather quiet (not extreme like whispering, just generally quiet) and then I'm told that I have to speak up which sort of embarrasses me (idk why, just like that). There is also a weird thing that happens when I make eye contact most of the time...too embarrassing to say, sorry. And it's weird because back in high school last year I was pretty talkative (and rather stupid, I know that now) but I think that was only cause I had friends. I do have a few friends now, but I don't hang out with anyone, since I prefer to be on my own. And recently (or probably forever -_-) my parents are saying that I can "barely speak properly" because when I speak to them I am apparently very quiet. Maybe I only talk confidently with people I'm comfortable with?
Well anyway, enough about my life story.
If anyone has any advice, please comment/message me, whatever.
I just really need some advice right now.
And if you've made it up to here, and genuinely read this, thank you.

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billytex1 · 70-79, M Best Comment

the best advice is always honesty - as one who has hired lots of people, I'd much rather have someone be really honest - especially about what they're not good at - then have them not be honest, discover that the hard way, and have to fire them - especially if the trait of themselves they weren't honest about is one that's critical to performing the job they were hired for.

Buck up - be truthful, honest, and up front - let them know you're not a really open 'people person' right away with strangers you don't know - it'll be a lot better for you and your potential employer.

As to the eye contact thing - that's usually read by almost everyone as a sign of deception - is it something from childhood? However you got it - try to work on it - if you're being truthful with someone, you should be able to look right at them, without any fear.

good luck!

Mamoru

@billytex1: thank you very much, I appreciate your help and the eye contact thing, it's not a sign of deception at all, I'm actually a pretty honest person.
I think most of the time, I can't really look people in the eye constantly, maybe because I feel like their eyes are burning into my soul, haha..just kidding 😓
Okay, it's just probably that I sometimes feel as if they'll think I'm lying about something when I haven't or I'll feel guilty for no actual reason or I'll feel like I'll be caught for something I never did (i know, pretty stupid). I think to sum it up, it's..intimidating? I have very low self esteem and so I don't think very highly of myself. And as for the truthful thing, if I do get an interview, I'll make sure to tell them that, thank you!
Also, I can't believe you're an employer! Oh wow >~<

firefall · 61-69, M

OK, well, one thing might be, get practiced at talking to others again, by forcing yourself into a somewhat social hobby - its something that constant lowlevel practice WILL enhance your skills.

Alternatively, look for jobs where you work solo or (ideally) from home, where you can limit social interactions to email & msg'ing.

And when putting together a resume, don't comment on your communications skills at all, but use words to describe your close focus & concentration on the task, and how you can ignore social distractions.

Mamoru

@firefall: Thank you, I find this helpful.

SW-User

I'm pretty quiet too, and that's not necessarily a bad thing. Communication doesn't require one to talk endlessly. If you know how to convey your point, that's ten times better than having auditory diarrhea.
As to speaking not loud enough, that's a problem I cannot solve myself either. I just speak too loud when I do speak. We all have our quirks. Just remember that when you're at an interview, you're there because those guys NEED you. Not because they feel like interrogating you.

Mamoru

@GermanAf: True..thank you for your advice.

Mirania · 26-30, M

Get a recorder, practice talking in it, Keep doing it till you think you sound good. Say good morning to random people. Force conversation. We are social creatures with repetition you should be able to do it eventually. There are plenty of people that make it happen at work, and then go off on their own later.

Mamoru

@Userabc123: Thanks, I'll try my best.

ASLAN · 26-30, M

PM me .. let's talk it out ^^ together :)

Mamoru

@Aslan: I don't mind

ASLAN · 26-30, M

Okay then ^^

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Mamoru

@Venus25: uhm, thanks..?

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