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Need good ideas for responding to my husband cheating
I know it happens all the time. And now it has happened to me. I want my response to be smart and I want my response to put me in a good position for Karma to take it's course. Also to not negatively affect my potential divorce settlement...
51-55, F
99 replies
Jul 4, 2018
Fernie · F Best Answer
Fernie · F
😆...I see you have strong feelings about the cheating fool huh? Thank you for BA and have a happy life without him!!!
Waxfoot · 51-55, M
[@331316,Fernie] lmao ouch
Rokasu · 31-35, M
if you’re looking to hurt him, the best thing to do would be to handle it calmly and pretend he never existed post divorce. Show him how strong you are without him.
Fernie · F
[@16030,Rokasu] Indifference is a powerful tool of revenge
SW User
Tell him you know he's been cheating for a long time so you tried it too and now you've given him Clamydia
eatpraylove · 51-55, F
[@760517,Jenny94] that would mean I had clamydia.
SW User
[@770589,eatpraylove] erm it was a joke love
Fernie · F
SW User
Talk to him openly. Say what you need

I know this seems harsh, but don't be too emotional as this could be used against you as if he is cruel and harsh he'll try to paint you as someone not to be trusted or volatile.

Children involved?
Fernie · F
[@514014,earthquakefish] what a nutty thing to say to her. She has no responsibility to do any of that...he is the villain here.
SW User
[@331316,Fernie] Then you misunderstood my response especially since I never said a word about fault or anything resembling.
Fernie · F
[@514014,earthquakefish] I think it is you who does not understand how betrayed she feels. I really don't think she is in place to be all Zen about what he did. You want her to let go of all that and have a lovely chat with the lying scum. She can be rational in her resentment and not do anything to make herself look the fool. She seems like an awake and intelligent woman to me. What you mean by her telling him "what she needs" I don't get. It's too late for that
antonioio · 61-69, M
Did you ever hear the expression
Fool me once, shame on you
Fool me twice, shame on me
The only reason why a spouse will cheat
If they think their going to get away with it
eatpraylove · 51-55, F
[@90574,antonioio] I do not understand what your idea is. … not at all.
Fernie · F
[@90574,antonioio] Spoken like a true bag of testosterone...really? The ONLY REASON people cheat? People cheat initially because they are selfish, betraying cowards.
HerKing · 56-60, M
[@90574,antonioio] Men and women cheat for different reasons. Men cheat because they're selfish and think they can get away with it..women cheat (And I know this from my own experience) because they're neglected, bored, don't feel appreciated, need affection they're not getting from their partner, and part of it is the thrill. It often comes after months, often years of putting up with shit and trying to fix it, but one sided fixes never work.

Revenge is a dish best served cold, and I understand that, but if it were me the victim, indifference is a more powerful weapon. But that is only my tactic, I understand the temptation to have all guns blazing and exact revenge big time, but I think that's tiring.. Ever read/seen the TV 'The life and times of a she devil'?

Mugin16 · 41-45, M
Getting a good divorce lawyer is probably the best move then.
SW User
[@393432,Mugin16] i agree with this, then get advice on how to behave to favour your case! Dont go off what these tards suggest if you are solely after the cash! When you have that in your hand cut his dic off!
Kindheartedguy · 41-45, M
If you're already in the throws of a divorce... what difference does it make? Record what you collected about the cheating and saving it for the negotiations.
eatpraylove · 51-55, F
yes. I want him to pay for this.
Kindheartedguy · 41-45, M
Is his mother still alive and does she like you?
eatpraylove · 51-55, F
[@337992,Kindheartedguy] yes
Zeusdelight · 56-60, M
You thought the grass was greener on the other side, enjoy discovering the weeds:)
Zeusdelight · 56-60, M
That is good that it is a clear decision for you. So would you say what I suggested?
eatpraylove · 51-55, F
no, too mild. I am going to make him pay dearly.
Zeusdelight · 56-60, M
I thought you would use th3 courts for that!
Keepitsimple · 46-50, F
I would really move on. At least you don’t have to live a fraud life anymore. As for the settlement It’s really a numbers game. Whether or not he agrees is a whole other thing. Usually if it gets to the judge unsettled they are pissed and the one holding it up gets hammered. That happened with my sister and her ex.
eatpraylove · 51-55, F
[@11509,Quietrumble] no, I will not stay with him. I will make him regret.
Keepitsimple · 46-50, F
[@770589,eatpraylove] I wish you luck. I doubt he cares though.
eatpraylove · 51-55, F
[@11509,Quietrumble] I will make him care
Revenge is ugly
eatpraylove · 51-55, F
[@1060,KingLionHeart] is it always?
[@770589,eatpraylove] I believe it is.. yes.

It does not achieve anything..

it is a dead end..
Loulou · 46-50, F
[@1060,KingLionHeart] I agree, move on with dignity

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