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Why are some people so brutally blunt and insensitive about death of loved ones?

My mom got killed by a drunk driver last Wednesday so four days ago and I AM DEVASTATED. My dad is heartbroken and so are my brothers. My close friend bluntly told me, "Look everyone DIES ok?! People die so there's no reason for you to be sad! You can't be sad all the time. We're ALL going to die and she is dead. Get a grip, put your big girl panties on and move on. Sorry, but there is no point of being sad all the time about your dead mommy."
My guy friend said, "Look once someone is dead, their dead. Can't wish for them to come back. Besides your mom won't wanna come back. I don't mean to sound harsh but who wants to go back and suffer? Stop crying, you're 31. You don't need mommy anymore. Buck up will you?" And shoved me hard and stormed off. I MISS THE HELL OUTTA MOM. My dad said, "In heartbroken but we still gotta keep going. No use to walk around depressed. She isn't coming back."
My dad wasn't mean but why were the others mean?! I laid in bed all weekend.

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Allelse · 36-40, M

Your close friend is a cunt, get rid of them and find a new close friend.

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Allelse · 36-40, M

@abe182 🤜🤛

Allelse · 36-40, M

@EmotionalMotherlessWoman1988 They are. Now you listen to me, you grieve, grieve for you, grieve for what you've lost and remember it is your right. Take the time, be kind to yourself, care for yourself the way you would care for somebody who just lost their mother. Love yourself and if you feel down then be down, you want to cry then cry, you want to get angry and rage at the world then you do it. I'm so sorry you lost your Mummy. And your 'close friend' is a piece of shit.

Byron8by7 · M

@Allelse @abe182 @EmotionalMotherlessWoman1988 Any true friends would not speak to you in such a way. Your father is grieving, too; he is trying to make the best out of a terrible situation. Try to find new friends once you get through this. My sympathies once again. Take care as well as you can.

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ScarletWitch · 26-30, F

@PoizonApple not a fact. When I was 17 years old. I had girl in my username. I'm blocking you too for being
rude and judgmental .

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PoizonApple · 41-45, F

I don't believe you

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PoizonApple · 41-45, F

You're excuseseded

SassySpiceSexy · 26-30, F

@PoizonApple I know. She sounds so fucking desperate I think she is adding fibs to sound dramatic. I don't buy it.

SatyrService · M

that guy, the one that said
[quote]"Look everyone DIES ok?! People die so there's no reason for you to be sad! [/quote]
is a soulless clod.

this is going to hurt a LONG time. the rest of your life. it will get better over time, but slowly.
it is going to jump out at you all the time, waking up and remembering
"oh yeah..."
31 one is not too old to "not need mommy" mine is gone longer than you have been alive and I still miss her.

all we can do,, the ONLY thing we can do is keep her in your heart.
and [b]LOVE EVERYONE ELSE you still have.[/b]
cherish them, tell them you do.

the tears will be long not stopping.

I with I had something to make you feel it less.
but you will pass thru this.
take your time.

I am sorry for what you are going through

reflectingmonkey · 51-55, M

what is wrong with these people ? Sorry for your loss. I would say to you that its ok to be sad because this sadness signifies that she was important to you. not being sad would be weird. I think people are so afraid of pain that they even avoid the pain of others. sometimes life is sad, at those times its ok to cry. the pain won't completely go away, you will learn to live with it and eventually you will smile and laugh again. but now, its ok to cry . I have lost a few friends and there is sadness within me, I don't think about it all the time but that sadness is a good sadness, it reminds me that I really loved them. ❤

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reflectingmonkey · 51-55, M

@EmotionalMotherlessWoman1988 no, you misread my message. I am agreeing with scarlett

SassySpiceSexy · 26-30, F

@reflectingmonkey wtf

GlitterBug · 22-25, F

Well. I have my doubts about this post, honestly. I don’t feel that someone would actually do that. But I’m not really here to judge the legitimacy of your post. If it did actually happen I can say this:
They don’t have to feel it, it hasn’t affected them the way it has you. Yeah, you have to move on, but in your own time. You’re allowed to grieve. Telling you that you’re not is ridiculous, and it’s basically what he did here. It could also be possible that person is feeling anger from someone he was grieving at one point in time. I’m not excusing his behavior by any means, just a thought. Especially if he shoved you and got mad about it.
Everyone grieves differently. You are no exception. Grieve however you need to.

SW-User

This is why I backed away from most close people when I had a tragedy. It is too much hard work to explain grief to people who won't understand.

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SW-User

@EmotionalMotherlessWoman1988 Drop anyone who is not good for you. And do your own grieving the way you need to.

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JoeyFoxx · 51-55, M

Would you mom want you sulking about her death like this?

Or would she prefer that you celebrate her life, and learn from what happened to her?

There is such thing as unhealthy mourning. It sounds like you have poeple in your life who are trying to give you tough love.

You are luckier than you know.

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SassySpiceSexy · 26-30, F

@JoeyFoxx TRUTH!!!!! She needs to hear it. Her mommy wouldn't want her to be all depressed and mope all day. It isn't worth it

JoeyFoxx · 51-55, M

I’m certainly not expecting you to “just get over it”

That’s not how it works.

But you will need to learn to cope, and that won’t happen while sleeping the day away.

When someone dies, life goes on.

Do not disrespect your mother by ceasing to live your own life because she lost hers.

@EmotionalMotherlessWoman1988

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SW-User

People don't believe your story because you sound identical to BarbieGirl who said her mom died 4 years ago.

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ScarletWitch · 26-30, F

@SW-User to back up what youre saying?

SW-User

@ScarletWitch I lost track of their endless accounts which they keep deleting/ changing their names so no proof for you. Maybe pay more attention the next days and you'll see it yourself. Also give me proof that this story is real? We are all entitled to believe what we want.

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cherokeepatti · 61-69, F

She has no empathy, and is what I’d call a fair-weather friend. I hope you find better friends. Sorry for your loss, grieving is a natural thing to do after someone loses a loved one and don’t be ashamed of it.

ScarletWitch · 26-30, F

I'm so sorry. My condolences. May your mom rest in peace. Your guy friends sound like assholes. You are grieving. My mother took her life in 06 and I'm still sad about it.

Docdon23 · M

That is horrible. there is no age for caring or being sad or missing a loved one...some people take much longer than this to bounce back...it is OK to feel pain and grieve and feel sad...that is what human's do (many animals do as well)...I am sorry some people can't give you the love and kindness you need and deserve right now...

SassySpiceSexy · 26-30, F

You idiot! Do you really think people are going to believe this crap?! No friends would ever say that. My mom passed away and my friends never said shit like that. Sorry for your lost but stop sounding so desperate for attention. You need to fucking get a fucking brain! Not everyone is going to fucking care! Fuck

Elegy · 46-50

No one gets to dictate how anyone else grives and also I don't think any friends and a parent should be urging you to move on after a 4 days. You may need a whole new support system if this is the case. It feels like there is some missing information here or you misunderstood.

SweetMae · 70-79, F

They don't like seeing you hurt. They don't know what to say. Sometimes people that say things like that are actually angry at themselves because they can't stand to see your pain.

chuck7882 · 61-69, M

Please don't listen to these insensitive oafs. You deal with this in whatever way you need to deal with it. I'm always willing to be a shoulder to cry on.

SassySpiceSexy · 26-30, F

@chuck7882 Not everyone is going to be nice to her about this. This sounds made up.

BeefySenpie · M

They just don't understand your situation. If it was them, they'd probably feel the pain just like you are. You don't need that lack of understanding right now, so I'd ignore them for a while

Sourdad · 56-60, M

It's the little world that people choose to live in. We grew up in it, so we don't really know how to feel. It's no excuse. I'm sorry you have to experience it.

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deadgerbil · 22-25

Those people aren't your friends if they treat you like that.

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deadgerbil · 22-25

That can happen to anyone. I recently ended a friendship with a very toxic person. The best you can do is learn from the bad friendships and try to make ones with people who actually care about you. @EmotionalMotherlessWoman1988

CountScrofula · 41-45, M

Your close friend is a bad person and you should no longer associate with this person.

Fungirlmmm · 51-55, F

I'm so sorry for your
loss. Some people have no compassion. I'm sorry.

Rokasu · 36-40, M

There is no way that is your close friend.

river52 · 70-79, M

hugsssss........I am sorry for your loss.....

Im so so sorry :(

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