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Bobsy2018 · 51-55, M
I have an ex stepdaughter who was just like this ...
We decided to treat her with disinterest ..didnt listen to her at all ...removed her tv, video recorder her CD player (this was in the early 90's) if she wanted to go out we checked her story where she was going who she was meeting etc ....if didn't tell us she stayed at home ... When she had a go at me or her mother we just ignored her ...lots of slammed doors...
When she was rude or ungrateful ...we were as bad and sometimes worse back ...she got the message eventually....8 months it took her ...her brother had the time of his life every thing was done to make him see this kind of behaviour was unacceptable...he was treated like an adult (14) ...he gave respect as we showed him respect ...
After the hard shock treatment ...she slowly calmed down ...
My cousin was a child psychologist..we asked her for advice at the beginning
To see if this would be wrong action to take ...
As long as we fed her ...clothed her ...looked after her in general ...it may work it may not !!!
I hope this helps ...
Rob
We decided to treat her with disinterest ..didnt listen to her at all ...removed her tv, video recorder her CD player (this was in the early 90's) if she wanted to go out we checked her story where she was going who she was meeting etc ....if didn't tell us she stayed at home ... When she had a go at me or her mother we just ignored her ...lots of slammed doors...
When she was rude or ungrateful ...we were as bad and sometimes worse back ...she got the message eventually....8 months it took her ...her brother had the time of his life every thing was done to make him see this kind of behaviour was unacceptable...he was treated like an adult (14) ...he gave respect as we showed him respect ...
After the hard shock treatment ...she slowly calmed down ...
My cousin was a child psychologist..we asked her for advice at the beginning
To see if this would be wrong action to take ...
As long as we fed her ...clothed her ...looked after her in general ...it may work it may not !!!
I hope this helps ...
Rob
SW-User
@Bobsy2018 thanks but we have tried most of this and unfortunately it hasn't worked
LyricalOne · F
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SW-User
@sighmeupforthat that's the problem help can only be given if the child is willing to get it and next she will be 18 so even less chance then she needs to take the help we are offering now
sighmeupforthat · 46-50, M
@SW-User and if you force it.. you can end up in jail and lose everything if the right assholes step in without even bothering to review your case.
:/
:/
SW-User
@sighmeupforthat people think it's just as simple as get her help but it's not that easy and yes I'm feeling the strain I get out with friends etc to release that but everyday is a struggle and sometimes I dread it
Bobsy2018 · 51-55, M
Ok "confused" I'll tell you something I've rarely discussed anywhere
At 14 I was a right tear away .....fights ...stealing ... Drugs ...smoking...drinking, suspended from school many times ...you name it I did it ....
I got in a fight ..a boy two years older than me ...I put him in hospital ...
He was ok ...broken nose ...bust lip ,..sore ribs etc ....
But I was arrested ...my m an d ...we're at their wits end .....so unknown to me ..but agreed with. The poilce ..I was put in borstal for a night (now called young offenders institution) ... It was a sharp shock treatment ...fuck me did it work ... I was I n with murderers people who committed violent assaults...sex offenders ...you name it they were in there ..I stayed one night it changed me immediately!!
Is it possible you can contact someone ...in authority...maybe have a chat with her ....alternatively you could take her on a drive show her how the other side live ...take her to the roughest parts of town ...give her a fright ...this is where she could end up ..if she doesn't play by your rules ....
Good luck darlin .... I feel for you ....
Rob
At 14 I was a right tear away .....fights ...stealing ... Drugs ...smoking...drinking, suspended from school many times ...you name it I did it ....
I got in a fight ..a boy two years older than me ...I put him in hospital ...
He was ok ...broken nose ...bust lip ,..sore ribs etc ....
But I was arrested ...my m an d ...we're at their wits end .....so unknown to me ..but agreed with. The poilce ..I was put in borstal for a night (now called young offenders institution) ... It was a sharp shock treatment ...fuck me did it work ... I was I n with murderers people who committed violent assaults...sex offenders ...you name it they were in there ..I stayed one night it changed me immediately!!
Is it possible you can contact someone ...in authority...maybe have a chat with her ....alternatively you could take her on a drive show her how the other side live ...take her to the roughest parts of town ...give her a fright ...this is where she could end up ..if she doesn't play by your rules ....
Good luck darlin .... I feel for you ....
Rob
SW-User
@Bobsy2018 thanks Rob. I'm glad you turned your life around and things worked out for you xx
SW-User
I get it. My son just turned 18, and there are times I feel like this. I dislike my husband, who actually encourages my son to treat me badly. 1) She is a teenager. Teenagers are awful. 2) She does not get to treat you that way. Find something that will get her attention, like changing the internet password or taking away her cell phone. 3) Explain the rules. If you do x than consequence y. ALWAYS follow through. 4)Make seeing a doctor or a therapist mandatory. You can bargain with her for something she wants if you need to. 5) Stand up for yourself. You are worth more than that.
SW-User
@SW-User she doesn't like school and now she doesn't like college but there again she doesn't like working neither. She has friends x
hippyjoe1955 · 61-69, M
ABCDEF7 · M
The root cause of all problems is expectations. Firstly to live happily leave your expectations from your daughter an your husband. Then, I am not asking you to work to come to expectations of your daughter, but you should work to be more healthier and happier. Losing some fat will not only give you a healthy feel but give you confidence in your life, and will definitely make things better in your life.
Ambroseguy80 · 51-55, M
Ambroseguy80 · 51-55, M
SW-User
@Ambroseguy80 if hubby did anything that would be a start
Ambroseguy80 · 51-55, M
@SW-User well better late than never. 👍🏻👍🏻
sighmeupforthat · 46-50, M
SW-User
@sighmeupforthat yeah 18 she is an adult but guess it doesn't really change anything if she has no money or nowhere else to go
darkknightt · M
SW-User
@darkknightt xxxxxx
sighmeupforthat · 46-50, M
Give her a spanken.. She bratty
SW-User
@SStarfish well that's the problem these days you can't touch them
@SW-User i know of these people irl who didnt spank their bad kid and she went and stabbed a guy..
Dont let your kid get away with stupid bs. You dont have to spank them but do something
Dont let your kid get away with stupid bs. You dont have to spank them but do something
SW-User
@SStarfish I'm not ignoring the situation obviously but I can't get force her to get help she has to want it