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I Am Having Family Problems

Ok so please don't judge me it has took a lot for me to come on here at write this.

I hate my family life, my teenage daughter who is 17 as made family life hell on earth over the past 3years or more. On a daily basis she tells me I'm fat, I'm a slag, I'm a useless Mum, I can't cook, laughs cause I only work a hour a day. Recently she told her college that she was homeless and that she was at harm obviously after they spoke to us they realised there was no problem and further action was taken. I just hate her she makes my life a misery. My husband is no use he doesn't take any side but does nothing when she kicks off. She needs help but won't get any if she refuses help we can't do anything. I just wanna run away and never come back I am not in love with my husband anymore and the only reason I stay is for my son and the lack of my own money. Please help is anyone in same position xx

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LyricalOne · F

If possible, I'd start working more than an hour a day to save up money toward getting on your feet and establishing an independent life.

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SW-User

@LyricalOne I've always worked those hours cause my husband works shifts so I am here for the kids

LyricalOne · F

I'm thinking you can work more than one hour a day. How old is your son? Your daughter certainly doesn't need you to be home all the time. Sounds like money is gonna go a long way towards making you free. Squirrel away any extra you possibly can from your husband as well.

SW-User

@LyricalOne my son is 13 yes I have been looking for full time work

LyricalOne · F

@SW-User That's a good first step. And as for your daughter? If she's so unhappy, she'll be 18 soon at which time she's free to leave. Please stop letting her treat you like a doormat. Get some therapy if you can. You've got to do everything you can to formulate an exit plan.

SW-User

@LyricalOne I have tried to get her help and she won't except it I'm at breaking point I just wanna go now

LyricalOne · F

@SW-User YOU go get help.

SW-User

@LyricalOne I'm to ashamed

LyricalOne · F

There's absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. Except possibly not getting help and staying in the hole you're in. When you're better, your family will have a chance to be better. You're certainly not doing your son any favors in the state you're in.

SW-User

@LyricalOne I don't show I act normal don't think anyone realises

LyricalOne · F

@SW-User Your kids are a lot smarter than you give them credit for. Your daughter's behavior didn't come out of thin air. You're modeling an unhappy mother and an unhappy marriage for your children. Might as well be poisoning them. You need help. You need to be a positive role model for your children.

SW-User

@LyricalOne there was no unhappy marriage or home until she started her behaviour

LyricalOne · F

@SW-User Please, her behavior didn't just pop up out of thin air. Kids act up for reasons and the roots of it probably started long before she turned 14. Why would you fight getting help for yourself if it would make your family better?

LyricalOne · F

@SW-User And even if you want to argue with me about that, the point is that it's an unhappy marriage and mother NOW.

SW-User

@LyricalOne your missing the point I don't want to be part of the family we are trying to the deal with the problems so don't judge me I'm not just ignoring the situation but the bottom line is if she won't get help we can't make her

SW-User

@LyricalOne yes because that's what she has created

LyricalOne · F

@SW-User I'm not judging you nor am I missing the point. If she won't get help, no, you can't make her. But you can get help which is still sorely needed. It's part of an exit strategy for getting you out of this life you say you hate, just like finding full time employment. You're trying to make her the only problem when that's simply not the case. It's a family problem, not just a "your daughter" problem.

LyricalOne · F

@SW-User Lol.... no, she didn't create it. Her behavior didn't come from nowhere. It came from within a dysfunctional family system. But you don't seem to want to consider that possibility.

sighmeupforthat · 46-50, M

@SW-User why does this seem real familiar and copy/paste, again?

SW-User

@LyricalOne there was no problem in the family until her behaviour started we were a close family and she has made us drift apart have you even got kids

LyricalOne · F

@SW-User Ugh, lady, you're determined to keep your head buried in the sand so have at it. Hopefully somebody will tell you exactly what you want to hear and maybe that will make you feel temporarily better. Have a nice day.

SW-User

@LyricalOne you have no idea what I'm going through you probably don't even have kids

sighmeupforthat · 46-50, M

@LyricalOne yeh, my brain is now blinking and that's a new one for me.

sighmeupforthat · 46-50, M

@SW-User you just did it for yourself.

if you've got no empathy then how can you speak of your ailes?

how do you know lyrical has this or hasn't that?

?

that's where you fail.

next thing you'll tell me that i don't understand something either. i got dying wife, i can't find the time to play mind games.

you're fucked.

get fixed somehow. go down to CITY HALL already and talk to a councillor! (public relations, family and households. dept. or whatever it's called in your city, something about child welfare services and assistance.)

SW-User

@sighmeupforthat we are getting help now and in the past through college or school but like I say she won't except the help on offer

sighmeupforthat · 46-50, M

@SW-User you gotta start somewhere.

and she's gotta stop refusing.

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