I'd Rather Have the Truth, No Matter How Hard

Aside from when I was a little kid and hadn't learned how to hide yet, I spent up until I was 24 wearing masks almost all the time. I'm 30 now (elderly, I know :P), so I've had over half a decade of experience learning to walk in this world in a way that's more free. I still haven't got it all figured out. I don't think anyone ever does. But it's gotten easier. I worked in Web Design and Office Admin until the last year, when I've been doing sales. The sales job has been a HUGE growth experience for me. I feel like just one year at this job has moved me further along in my journey than over 3 years of doing more introverted work. I've learned how to be an introvert in an outgoing job, and to really connect with a team of mostly extroverts. One of my co-workers said something interesting to me a while back - he said that he thinks most actors are introverts. I think he's right - and it made me think about what it really means to be an introvert.


Yup - because of the responsibilities of work, I've found that there's got to be a balance between being your most natural self, and being the perfect employee. If you do the former too much, you won't be able to fulfill a lot of your responsibilities. But you're right - if you do the latter too much, it drains the hell out of you and makes you miserable.


As someone who spent a long time exploring what truth and authenticity mean in the world we live in, I think that it's healthy and good to wear masks in certain situations. Every time I realize that the customer I'm talking to is a "problem customer," I immediately slip into the mask of dancing around them and trying not to poke the hornet's nest. It's demeaning to treat most people like children who have to be "handled," but with toxic people, and people who actually do have giant egos, it's totally appropriate.


If you're interested, I actually wrote a story on exactly this subject a while back: http://www.experienceproject.com/stories/Am-Not-The-Person-I-Used-To-Be/4411854

Oh, I definitely agree. While being "on" at work is exhausting, I doubt I'd be as outgoing as I am today without working retail for so many years. Granted, I'm still 100% an introvert, who would rather curl up on the couch than interact with another human, but I can have a conversation with a stranger relatively painlessly. Even though I'm wearing a mask most of the time, it's still a good skill to have. Plus, at my current job, I don't have to be "on" quite as much. My supervisors would rather we be genuine than treat every customer like royalty.

I never thought about it before, but maybe your friend has a point. Introverts are some of the best actors in the real world, after all.

Unfortunately, you do have to wear masks around toxic people. I made a post recently about a co-worker I have that is one of those toxic people. I could be my true self and call her out for being a horrible person, but that would just make work uncomfortable for everyone (and probably get me in trouble, even though she's in the wrong). So, I put on a mask and treat her like a child. However, if she weren't my co-worker and just some random person on the treat, I'm afraid my true self would win. I only wear a mask when it's beneficially, after all.

*on the street...not "treat"

Straightforwardness is so much easier than always trying to force what you say to fit into some box. I think that's true, but with one big caveat. It's the same caveat I put at the end of almost all wise sayings: it's true, except with toxic people, and some other people who aren't straight-up toxic, but who lean in that direction.