Anxious
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I'm pretty weak.

I have not yet spend a year in working life but I already don't like being an employee, it feels like I have no freedom specially on how things are in my current company. It's always work sleep work sleep, even during weekends I can't escape from work. I just want to feel that I still have some control with my life, at first I was thinking of leaving but can't because I need the money and finding a new job with my history will probably be hard. IDK really.
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Working life usually STARTS at low levels for most. To climb the ladder, if that’s your goal, takes time.

And just doing your job isn’t enough. You have to stand out. Faster, more accurate, trustworthy, interested in learning. Then the doors start to open. Slowly.

Instant gratification does not happen.