I just wanted to share something that is both embarrassing, and not.
Today I hit what is a huge milestone for me: 319.5 lbs. I'm sure most of you shiver and quake in horror at me being EXCITED about that number, but I remember my VERY first reaction being EXCITEment when I had my first chest pain.
I was r@p3d of my virginity, and my mother's words before she made me homeless were: "you spread your legs". By the time I had been SA'ed by 3 separate men, one of whom intentionally gave me an std, I wanted to die.
As a Christian, I "couldn't let God know" with something obv like a pew pew. Kinda half subconsciously decided to eat myself to death, instead. I gained 100 lbs within the first 2 years..another 100 after that...ended up at 392 lbs, 5'6".
I worked super hard, and lost 77 lbs, down to 315, a few years ago. I shot right back up..this time, to 403. Well THIS go-round, I decided to live.
Last month marked 2 years no contact with my mother, and today, not only did I reach the TEENS OF THE 300s, but I painted my toe nails without huffing and puffing.
Last Sunday, I popped into a booth with my friend for a margarita. Didn't realize till after that I had done that with great ease, and without pushing the table deep into his torso on the other side.
I don't breathe heavily merely walking to a refrigerator, or really, walking almost at all. I don't have to move 2 double chins out of the way (can it really be termed a WEAK chin when I had a whole host of backups?) to take a selfie..just the one.
I don't know if y'all can relate to food addiction, but let me tell you..it isn't ONE chemical you're weaning yourself off of. It isn't ONE emotional issue, like deep depression, you have to wade through.
MY dr*g is legal on every corner. So..I almost hate to say this, to this day, but I can say I am very proud of myself for losing 84 lbs as of today. Long way to go, but I am getting there.
I was r@p3d of my virginity, and my mother's words before she made me homeless were: "you spread your legs". By the time I had been SA'ed by 3 separate men, one of whom intentionally gave me an std, I wanted to die.
As a Christian, I "couldn't let God know" with something obv like a pew pew. Kinda half subconsciously decided to eat myself to death, instead. I gained 100 lbs within the first 2 years..another 100 after that...ended up at 392 lbs, 5'6".
I worked super hard, and lost 77 lbs, down to 315, a few years ago. I shot right back up..this time, to 403. Well THIS go-round, I decided to live.
Last month marked 2 years no contact with my mother, and today, not only did I reach the TEENS OF THE 300s, but I painted my toe nails without huffing and puffing.
Last Sunday, I popped into a booth with my friend for a margarita. Didn't realize till after that I had done that with great ease, and without pushing the table deep into his torso on the other side.
I don't breathe heavily merely walking to a refrigerator, or really, walking almost at all. I don't have to move 2 double chins out of the way (can it really be termed a WEAK chin when I had a whole host of backups?) to take a selfie..just the one.
I don't know if y'all can relate to food addiction, but let me tell you..it isn't ONE chemical you're weaning yourself off of. It isn't ONE emotional issue, like deep depression, you have to wade through.
MY dr*g is legal on every corner. So..I almost hate to say this, to this day, but I can say I am very proud of myself for losing 84 lbs as of today. Long way to go, but I am getting there.
41-45, F
