I Want to Lose Weight

Live Long Battle... I have always been overweight. I remember being bullied as a kid all the time over my size, at age 8 I was 8 stone (112 pounds). The bulling drove me to become even more of a recluse and eat By age 10 I was wearing size large adult clothing. At 12 I joined Weight Watchers. Here I had mixed success not really losing weight but not gaining, eventually I gave up on that. As a teenager the bullying mostly stopped as I had gotten into a very small but kind group of friends and had taken up playing music as a hobby. Still I could not truly come out of my shell, going through weeks and months or hiding away at a time. I seemed to fear really letting myself get to open fearing giving to much away and leaving myself open to humiliation. I played gigs at this time, but never really felt comfortable on stage. I felt like I stuck out. All the other musicians I played with were very slim, by comparison I looked very out of place. Maybe it did not help having one of their fathers who played the same instrument as me always insist on giving me tips (he did improve my bass playing) but would always slag me over my size (I still think he was just trying to be funny but it was just a dumb move that drove me to being even more insecure) also having a teacher in school who could never remember anyone's name so gave us all nick names, getting called "Big Boy" every day for 4 years by a teacher does not help ones self image. By 16 I was 23 stone (over 300 pounds). I stayed at this weight until my final year in college, between 16 and 21 (final year in college) I tried many many diets, Atkins, F-Plan, Cabbage Soup diet, Detox, Weight Watchers (again), Grapefruit Diet to name but a few. In those years I also had been told I was diabetic y my doctor before he even sent me for a blood test ba<x>sed just on my size. After a year of taking my blood sugar everyday I proved to him I was not diabetic but that still bugged me to be told something ba<x>sed just on my size. Then In my final year in college I tried a food pack diet. It works. I lost just under 6 stone in 4 months. But then they changed the formula of the packs. Then new formula made me throw up all the time, a mixture of the awful taste and throwing up made me stay on the plan but unable to face the packs. They were only giving me a 5th of my need of calories in the beginning but now I was unable to face them all I started to cut out packs, in the end I was taking in 10th of my need of calories a day. Finally the day after my last exam I lost my eye sight for 2 days. The doctor ordered me off the packs and then my eye sight returned. I have now put on 2 of the stone I lost on the packs but feel I need to go back on the packs to lose weight. I feel myself bloat everyday so much so I now try to not eat at all. As if I don't feel like eating until I have something then I feel hungry all day. Worst of all is when I was losing the weight I felt myself getting more confident, I was mixing with people more and playing more music. Now I am a recluse again and have not picked up a bass or guitar in months.

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eusarian

You need to stop the bindge cycle. As it is probalby that, in part, at least, making you feel so 'rotten' about it all.
Personally, (and from personal experience), diets do not work. They may make you lose X amount of weight, over an X period of time, but ultimately, any diet, by its nature, cannot be followed, forever, and so the bindge returns again, and post-diet, your back to the eating habbits that helped you gain, and/or maintain weight, at the level which is too high.
Most (if not all), diets work by forbidding certain foods; don't eat white flour/stuff/processed sugars, eat only* veg, cut out all carbs, etc., etc., So you'll always ultimately end up excluding things when on a diet, from your nutrition, which are things you really love to eat.
I've lost 5, heading towards 5 and a half stones (err whatever that is in LB, ), without dieting, without exercising; Just reducing portions to a sensible size.
Broadly, I was, as my plate shows me now, when I eat, eating about twice the sized portions I should have; cut down my rice, pasta, potato, etc, plus meat, cheese eggs, etc, intake by half, but gradually reduced it, so it wasn't too* big a shock.
Now I never feel hungry (beyond normal 'I'm hungry must go get dinner), and I eat everything I want too; chips, meats, cheese, etc, just in sensible sized amounts.
My basic week to week intake seems to mean, that on average, I tend to still be loosing about 1 LB a week; which is about maintainance level; as there will always be the odd weeks, where I eat a bit more, drink more beer, whatever, and so gain 1 LB, or remain utterly stable.
Its saved money too, on the grocery bill, which I put towards buying better quality fruit, veg, meat, etc... so I'm eating still, what I want* to eat, and its tasting even better than it did before...
Hoping to have lost another 7 LB by Christmas, and then I'll just have to play it by ear, and see if I think I need to lose any more or not..
True this isn't a quick way to lose weight, but the weight stays off, and you don't yo-yo, or get into bindge cycles.

Bhm8982 · 31-35, M

That slower weight loss over time I am sure is a lot better for you and makes more sense to me now.

eusarian

Oh, it definately makes sense, in the long-run, as it (certainly in my case at least) appears to be perminant weight loss; Though, trust me, at some points, I just wanted to lose it NOW!; But I never got very far with trying to do any actual* 'diet', and cutting out certain food, (often that which I love), just didn't work for me. Its taken me a lot of years to loose all that I now have, though the past few years it has slowed down a bit (the rate of loss ), loosing the first couple of stones, was so* amazing... and realising I wasn't putting it back on again, straight away, even better.
I'm now down to a 32" waist, though I could really still do with loosing more weight over my 'belly'. I've seemed to have lost weight on my back, legs, below my belly, etc, and some* of course, over the belly area. I've not dropped a vast amount in shirt size; but my 48 to 50 inch chest, that isn't really ever going to reduce, as that's just the 'size' I am, there, and its not (on my chest), all due to 'fat'... (well, some of it is, I guess). Though I have found XXL shirts are very* baggy on me now, (esp over the belly/abdomin area), and XL, which were once 'tight' are now perfectly fine to wear (and not so over the top bagggy like the XXL stuff)..
It is a very weird experience, buying new clothes, and suddenly finding I'm not XXL, or XL, or even large (for some stuff), and the medium, or even small (especially for underwear etc), is now my size... takes a bit of getting used too!

Hope you can find something that works for you...

darktippedrose

so sorry about that

i also have the same problem.

but unfortunately even when I'm healthy for ME, my overweight family members judge me as always having a problem even then.

the skinny family memeber just says thats how I'm built. go figure .

also - try sparkpeople.com its not a diet, its a community of people all trying to be healthy and it might help out.

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darktippedrose

its the biggest online community for HEALTH, its not just about weight loss, even if its needed for health, its also about getting healthy, eating healthier, being fitter, and doing other things that you need (like stress management and stuff).

Bhm8982 · 31-35, M

Hopefully there will be some stuff on there about how to deal with depression too so.

darktippedrose

probably, and theres groups for people who are depressed too

shelleyneeds

So you are fluffy, I am too, but I tell you this, you can be a happy man just being you, and weight will come off eventually, but if you keep on worry about it, well, its just gonna stay around. I should know too. hang in there, there lots of women, love a big man.

Bhm8982 · 31-35, M

Thank you for your kind words. I hope you are right that if I stop worrying about it it will eventually start to come off. It might at least break the feel bad, binge, feel bad cycle. I am even more hopeful you are right about there being some women who love a big man :)

shelleyneeds

so stop beating yourself up, one thing can help the most with the weight, get off the white flour, white bread, pasta, pizza, buns, eat meats, just stay off the white bread.

Bhm8982 · 31-35, M

Thanks for the advice. It is easier said then done sadly. But I will try not to beat myself up so much.

AdvocareAlanP7

I can help you, I manage a health and wellness company and my business partner is a personal trainer. Message me for more info. :-)

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