I’m so tired of my brain. I wish I could take it out and get rid of the parts that are damaged so I can feel normal.

Those damaged parts may be necessary to hold on to so you can find your way to being normal. You want to get to someplace from where you are right now. It works like your GPS system. It will take you anywhere you want to go, so long as it knows where you are. So, don't throw away where you are so you can get to where you want to go. It won't work.