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My Side of the Family Excludes Me and My Kids from Thanksgiving Every Year

I’m a mom with 2 kiddos and a husband. I’m a little surprised at how like we are never invited to Thanksgiving on my Dad’s side of the family.
(The one I’m closest to)

My mom doesn’t really have one. But my Dad and step mom have a HUGE Thanskgiving dinner every year that my family, and my brothers family aren’t invited to. We were invited once.. and then never again. I’m not even sure why, we didn’t do anything out of the ordinary the one time we were invited.

I guess I’m just wondering if this is normal? Especially when coming from a divided family? Like my Stepmom just basically says they don’t have enough room and she invites all kinds of random people like neighbors and coworkers, homeless people puts on a huge to do… but doesn’t want US there.

My dad, you know he’s always been completely spineless so, I just often assume he doesn’t want to rock the boat. He just said one time, you’ve got plans right? You wouldn’t need to come over here for Thanksgiving? I was like sure! Ya! Okay!…. He called my brother and did the same thing…My poor brother he has absolutely no one either, no in laws or anything. We try to make plans but he prefers to hermit on that day and be alone and sulk he says….my kids also are confused and asked why we don’t spend any time with moms family on Thanksgiving.. it makes me really sad to be honest. I just don’t understand. When I have my own Thanksgiving everyone will be invited.

Any advice? Every year I catch myself crying over it, and feel just well.. left out. And sad that neither my mom or dad have a desire to see my sweet little family during the holidays. And quite frankly they don’t seem to care to or understand how that could be hurtful.
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I'm really sorry you're going through this. Being excluded—especially by family—hurts deeply, and your sadness makes total sense. Holidays should be about love and connection, and it’s heartbreaking that your dad and stepmom choose to leave you and your brother out.
It’s not normal, and it’s certainly not kind. Your kids asking questions shows how much they feel it too. And your dad’s passive comments? That’s a painful way to be dismissed.
I admire your spirit. The way you talk about hosting your own inclusive Thanksgiving someday—that’s beautiful. You’re already showing your kids what real love looks like.
You’re not alone. Many of us understand this kind of hurt, and we’re here for you. I hope you and your brother can find a way to spend the day together this year. You deserve joy, and people who truly see you. 🤗