Is your momma an understanding parent?

She died about 12 years ago, aged 91 and 6 weeks.

She told me she regretted becoming a mother as soon as I was born - it was a painful and difficult deliver. Motherhood wasn't what she'd expected. She farmed me out to nurses and nannies while I was a toddler.
She aimed to make me as independent as possible. I achieved it - but at a price.
She binged on and off: two weeks drunk for every fortnight sober. Three times rescued from death by alcohol.
She was good at cooking and providing all the physical and educational basics when sober.
When drunk, the household fell apart.
She developed Korsakov's dementia very early,
with insight and empathy being the first things to go due to the brain damage.

So no, neither love, nor bonding, nor understanding.
I still don't fully understand all the effects - only that it is the primary wound, one that started before I was old enough to be aware.
One craves love, and it seems to make no sense.

The only thing one can do is forgive. Her mother was a narcissist, a drunk, and violent.
Mum never knew how to heal her own wounds.
And so it goes. Good thing I never had kids.

~

No she didn't want me so her mum bought me up.

Nope.

Um. No. 😂

She's sort of trying to be better though...because she's realized that some of us have or mostly have only bad memories of her. She still struggles to understand why my younger brother refuses to call her ever.

To some
Not to me though
She has different rules for different people

Not growing up as a child but after i was 16 she changed and was the best mother ever

No. She does things her way

She's tolerant.

Never was

Usually

She became one. I was the eldest, so I was the "learning curve". By the time the fourth child, our youngest sister came along, she & Pop were perfect. They were wonderful grandparents and became my best friends. I miss Mom very much.

A bit to say, she is deceased

Hell no. She was not cut out to be a mother.

Sometimes

Yes