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So let’s talk about consent and victim blaming.

There has been some talk here today about flirting and where the line is when the other person seems to go along with it but later recants that claim. While another person may seem into it, there could still be a problem with power discrepancy. Is the flirting person in a position of power? Do they have influence or popularity? The fact is that the person they’re flirting with (online or irl) may not be as comfortable with the situation as it may seem. Often they will go along with it for fear of consequences, being ostracized, triggering the other person, etc.
Now when this happens how do you know if the person you are flirting with is really receptive or if they’re just avoiding drama? Well, it’s not always easy. But if approached later about it, you can listen to them and apologize. Because even if you didn’t know or intend to make them feel this way, that is the way they feel. It’s normal to feel shocked and feel you need to defend yourself, but insisting that the other person went along with it and could have just said to stop is victim blaming, plane and simple. Imagine how you would feel gathering the courage to say you were wronged only to be attacked for it.
I don’t know how to close this out, but I’ve said my piece. I’m sure some will disagree, but this is something I feel strongly about and I needed to get it out while it seems to be a hot topic here.
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Classified · M
If it's like that, isn't it better not to flirt?
Really · 80-89, M
@Classified [quote]If it's like that, isn't it better not to flirt?[/quote] Like what?

Whether flirting is 'OK' or not will usually depend on the characters of the people involved and their familiarity with each other's personality.
Classified · M
@Really So in that case when one wants to flirt they need to know the other well enough to be able to judge whether they can.

So flirting with a stranger is a no go then.
Really · 80-89, M
@Classified Any comment made to a stranger should be made with caution. Whether one wants to risk being misunderstood is an individual choice.
Straylight · 31-35, F
@Classified Wish I had a straight answer to that. I think the best any of us can do is acknowledge the other person’s feelings.
Classified · M
@Straylight I understand it's complicated, but if I'd start flirting with someone then apparently I can create a victim. I do not want that. 🤔
Really · 80-89, M
@Straylight Acknowledging someone's feeling need not imply any responsibility for creating that feeling.

Clumsy wording, I know - but I think you'll get my meaning.
Straylight · 31-35, F
@Really I do.
Straylight · 31-35, F
@Really And it’s a complex subject. There’s no one appropriate way to respond. But acknowledging their feelings and not trying to sway them aside is a good place to start.
Really · 80-89, M
@Straylight Sorry if I'm flogging a dead horse; but acknowledging someone's feeling is not the same as accepting the idea that one is responsible for it.

OK, shutting up about it now :).
Straylight · 31-35, F
@Really I think any point of view that at least takes the subject seriously deserves to be heard.